Caution, teen-age boy talk contained herein. I mean CAUTION!

Jim's cousin was here last night. DJ. Donald James. Jim is James Donald. Isn't that cute? I'm glad I got the J-first one. The other morning we were all lounging in bed and Madeleine wanted to talk about our middle names. Mine's Page. Hers is my grandma's name - a pretty, old-fashioned name. Quinn's is my mom's maiden name - an interesting English surname. Tiny knows all those, but then she sat up and looked at Jim and said, "But Daddy, what's yours?" He told her. And she snorted. Snorted like a teenager at something dumb her dad just said! "HA! Like the duck!" she says. Jim covered his eyes with his hands and said, "Oh my God. Visions of junior, coming back to haunt me."


Jim, #28


Me, bottom row, 4th from left

So with DJ here last night we pulled out Jim's old junior high annual and I had a chance to see what I married, up-close and personal. I don't mean Who I married. What I married. Here's a sample of what our friends chose to write in our yearbooks as we parted ways for the summer:

• Mine: "Mignon - Have a great summer. Hope we'll be in the same homeroom next year. Julie"
  
  
• Jim's: "To a rad wrestler, Have a great summer! Eat lots of pussy! Travis"
  
  
• Mine: "Mignon, Have a wild summer with lots of fun. Keep playing basketball! Christian"
  
  
• Jim's: "Jim, Thanks for being a friend and keep your dick away from those girls, Tony"
  
  
• Mine: "Mignon, I'm glad I got to know you this year because you are a very nice person. Have a nice summer! Sandy"
  
  
• Jim's: "Jim, We no you want anus but If you can help it get cunt!! Waldo"
  
  
• Mine: "Mignon, Have a great summer and see ya next year! David"
  
  
• Jim's: "Don't worry bud! Someday you'll get pubic hair on your balls. Good luck, Steve"
  
  
• Mine: "Dear Mignon, You have and will be a great friend. Have a great summer. I'll see you next year, Rakhi"
  
  
• Jim's: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a big cock and I guess you do too. Rob"
  
  
• Mine: "Mignon, Have a great summer, and chill out. Jesse - P.S. Don't party too much!"
  

Speechless? It's like coming to the realization that your boyfriend poops. But different. SO SO different. I imagine on the last day of school, I ran home, yearbook open, arms outstretched to show my mom how many friends I have and how nice they all are. I imagine Jim ran home, yearbook rolled up and tucked away in his back, he grabs the jar of vaseline from his nightstand and heads for the bathroom...

Boys. You can only hope they wash their hands afterwards...