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My So-Called Life
Someone told me to Fuck Off yesterday, and not the kind of Fuck Off you say when someone tells you an incredible story (as in, "And then the hot cop let me go with a WARNING!" "Fuck Off! He did NOT!! You are soo lucky!") The kind of Fuck Off wherein the person is completely pissed at me and ready to end any relationship we may have had. Or not. I mean, she might not have meant it. It might have been a joke. Isn't that so funny? Ha ha, such a funny joke. So I have to call her tonight to clarify, and how excited am I about that? So much. So excited to confront someone who told me to fuck off and to tell that person that they made me cry. And then call the three other people that were in the car with her at the time she left me a message. To clarify that when you tell someone to fuck off it's hurtful and not funny.
At least in high school you could go home and cry and daydream about Charlie Sheen and how life was going to be so much better when you were an adult (married to Charlie Sheen) and people weren't cruel.
Update:
So apparently the woman who made the comment had the impression that the group of people I was with were being clique-y. We weren't. She also had the impression we were talking about them in a derogatory way. We weren't. So her Fuck Off was in defense of others. I, in a round-about way, respect that. She had their back. She and I have made up, and I've done my best to convince her that what she and the others were seeing as slights were not. I don't know if I was successful, and I don't know how I'll ever tell.
Updated again:
I took out a bit of melodrama. See the thing is, not everyone is me. If someone makes fun of me, I laugh if it's funny, if it's not, I say "hey, that's not funny." If I tease someone, they may laugh whether it's funny or not. I have no way of knowing. Apparently I teased a friend, a woman I like very much, and she didn't think it was funny, but waited 6 months and a big Fuck Off to let me know. So now I know how it feels to be a guy. Women are mysterious and strange creatures. There should be a manual.
At least in high school you could go home and cry and daydream about Charlie Sheen and how life was going to be so much better when you were an adult (married to Charlie Sheen) and people weren't cruel.
Update:
So apparently the woman who made the comment had the impression that the group of people I was with were being clique-y. We weren't. She also had the impression we were talking about them in a derogatory way. We weren't. So her Fuck Off was in defense of others. I, in a round-about way, respect that. She had their back. She and I have made up, and I've done my best to convince her that what she and the others were seeing as slights were not. I don't know if I was successful, and I don't know how I'll ever tell.
Updated again:
I took out a bit of melodrama. See the thing is, not everyone is me. If someone makes fun of me, I laugh if it's funny, if it's not, I say "hey, that's not funny." If I tease someone, they may laugh whether it's funny or not. I have no way of knowing. Apparently I teased a friend, a woman I like very much, and she didn't think it was funny, but waited 6 months and a big Fuck Off to let me know. So now I know how it feels to be a guy. Women are mysterious and strange creatures. There should be a manual.
posted by Mignon at 3:37 PM
Aw, how could anyone tell you to fuck off? We here inside the computer would never do that to you because you're far too congenial. If she's that mean, then certainly you are better off purging her from your life. And she better not poison your friendly relations with other people, because that would be totally junior-high.
If she confirms that she truly meant to cut you off, I encourage you to damn her to a life of being married to current-day Charlie Sheen.
Well, fuck HER. If you need backup in the form of someone backing away slowly muttering obscenities, let me know. Or maybe Charlie Sheen lives around here...I'll check.
My word verfication is rfawk!
Look at it this way: she didn't say "fuck off and die," right? A plain old "fuck off" leaves open the possibility of rapprochement.
gawd - that sucks.
I'm so lousy at confrontation. If someone I don't know well says that to me, I figure I don't need that shit and I.....fuck off. Life is too short to share it with assholes.
(As for the other people in the car - seems like they should be calling you, all embarrassed about being involved in such rudeness.)
If it is someone I care about, then I suck it up and pursue it - what the hell did I do to piss you off (this time, baby)? What can we do to fix whatever made you angry? But I wait and let them cool down first.
I hope you were able to resolve this amicably.
Way to hold on to a grudge. 6 months? Even i don't do that, and i am an expert grudge holder.
I've had that happen to me before. On a few occasions it was a total misunderstanding on their part, but they let their misunderstanding fester and build up until they just exploded at me. By then there's usually so much water under the bridge I'm all "huh? what the hell?".
wow. this sounds vaguely (no..actually...COMPLETELY) familiar.
i always expect brutal honesty from people...because i dish it. which basically means that i don't mesh too well with the people pleasing 'ha ha everything you do and say is brilliant and hysterical and SPOT ON! even though i secretly think that you can be a tactless, selfish, asshole' types.
eh. you do what you can.
I have only heard an angry "F*** you, V" once in my entire life (and I'm an old chick and lived outside of New York City as a kid.)
I was STUNNED. It was so unexpected. And the source? My husband, who never swears.
Yeah, that hurt. That still hurts a year later. A thorn in the heart. A big revelation.
That friend of yours, who held the grudge for 6 months and then erupted with anger and convoluted reasoning, I assume she's in junior high, so, maybe it can be explained by the pressures of Sadie Hawkins danced and zits.
Wow, I think the old me would have started crying if someone told me to Fuck Off. But the new, assertive me thinks that maybe women would get along better if we just all occasionally said that to each other. Like men do.