Saturday, July 19, 2008

My first and last post about Richard Dreyfuss.

Golly I've got a short fuse. I had a dream that a Danish guy told me I made him feel small. Like Richard Dreyfuss. So my temper is thusly small like Richard Dreyfuss. Once I lied to a group of new coworkers about my role in Mr. Holland's Opus. Meaning, I said I had a role. Because I wanted them to like me. Or no, I actually just wanted to take part in the conversation. Whatever the motivation, right? Because I lied about being an extra in a shitty movie starring Richard Dreyfuss. That was a low point. Small and low. But today, yelling at the kids because they were making silly echo noises in the bathroom at a coffee shop downtown - that was pretty low too. Equally Richard Dreyfuss-y.

Jim and I won the mixed doubles and my friend Suzy and I won the women's doubles final at the Western Montana Open. I got a pint glass and Jim got a bj. Ha ha. Just kidding mom and brothers and close friends that see me often! Also, I totally got duped yesterday by the hunky, balding gymnastics coach and I wrote a big-ass check for the kids to go to gymnastics camp next week. Because he asked me if I was a gymnast. I demurred and then showed off on the rings. Today I can't raise my arms above my head and I'm checking to see how soon that check's gonna bounce. Boing boing. Checks on Trampolines. That's the song of the day.

Except it's not really the song of the day, because instead I'm listening to 27 Jennifers. And Chaiyya Chaiyya. Lawn mowing, you know, really takes me back to my Bollywood roots.


Blogger Imez said...

Did you really just, jump up on the rings and do a little routine? Just, oh ho hum? How the hell did you know how to do that? ARE you a gymnast?

See, your reality is interesting enough. Screw fibbing.

I wonder how many times the image of you fellating your husband is going to guerilla attack your family's brains now before they can permanently swat it away.

Oh you're simply awful.

7/20/2008 2:17 PM  
Blogger PEACE said...

Congratulations on winning in the tennis tourney, you are some athlete. I am so impressed about the rings. I tried to show my grand kids a front handspring a few months ago and fell right on my arse! It hurt like hell! Made me feel my age and that really stinks!

The rings, that really is quite impressive! I can twirl a baton....and actually performed in a Miss Universe pageant in Vegas a long, long time ago. But if I tried to do one of my routines today, I would look like a complete fool. You are so very brave!

7/20/2008 6:42 PM  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

I won first place for the 100 yard butterfly at a swimming meet when I was 15. That's not a lie. What I don't usually tell people is that I was the only person entered in that race category, lol.

Congrats on the tennis. You, at least, do not have to lie if you don't want to :-)

7/24/2008 10:45 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

Yeah, I totally clicked that link. I was all like, "No way! I was almost an extra on Rudy." Only, that wasn't a lie. Rather, a really really lame fact.

7/25/2008 1:24 PM  

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