Thursday, May 11, 2006

This is not a two-way street. It's a 6 lane one-way.

We're going to have a big Mothers' Day bbq on Saturday with a bunch of friends and Jim's Family. I wanted to do it on The Day Designated By Hallmark, but apparently Jim's Family is already gathering at the appointed place and at the appointed time on that day. When I was inviting a friend on the phone last night, I mentioned this scheduling quandry and said, in a not-unkind voice, that Jim's Family treats Mothers' Day like Easter. And he got mad. And defensive. And stormed off and banged some of the pots around the sink as he was cleaning up the dinner dishes. Um, honey, did I buy you that estrogen-flavored Tom's of Maine toothpaste on accident? I meant to get Cinnamint - sorry.

I know I was all Sheesh! Boys! a couple posts ago, but Sheesh! Boys! and their mommy-attachment! Or is it just my Boy? If Jim wants to make fun of my family, I happily join in. Ha-ha isn't my mom crazy for breaking all of our kitchen appliances when she comes to visit (remember the coffee maker/oven drawer/toaster, Mom?). Har-har, Damon was such an asshole when he first got that job where he was boss of everyone. Hee-hee Carson is the slowest person on earth and may have some kind of getting-dressed-in-a-timely-fashion disorder. But woe-is-me if I even question his parents' use of margarine in place of butter for dunking crab legs. Woe. (I know, MARGARINE?? I may have spoke of this already, but I'm still stunned.)

Am I brainwashing the baby already? Is he already conditioned to change the subject if it comes up that I let him fall off the bed three times. Well wait a minute... maybe that isn't such a bad thing.

Update: Oh I forgot - lookee, I got my haircut! It's short and sticky-uppy. Looks a little like wet grass after it's been stepped on, normally. It's especially sticky-uppy in this picture because I've been writing, and I'm a hair fiddler when I'm thinking. You should see the grease-pile on my head after a big test. You could fry an egg. If my head was really hot.

14 Comments:

Blogger mama_tulip said...

*snort* Your toothpaste comment cracked me right up.

Dave used to get all up in arms if I'd make any comment about his family that wasn't full of flowers and sunshine. He must have realized that I do the same toward my own family, because he's since joined me.

5/11/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I'd like to think of you as my own
"Heat-Miser", but cuddlier.

5/11/2006 3:51 PM  
Anonymous honestyrain said...

dearest, that grass does not look one bit stepped on.

5/11/2006 4:03 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

That hair was MADE for your head. OMG you look awesome.

PS - I feel your pain. We'll talk more later.

5/11/2006 5:02 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I LOVE that hair.

5/11/2006 5:22 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

Margarine is the grease of the devil.

5/11/2006 6:06 PM  
Blogger DoctorMama said...

I wish I had grass hair.

5/11/2006 6:23 PM  
Blogger Feral Mom said...

Dude, that haircut rules. You look badass.
Also, PREACH IT! It's OK to slag on my mom for bringing coolers full of meat and butter to our house, but not to complain about the lack of provisions at his parents' house. Then again, nothing washes down a spoonful of weeks-old coleslaw like a jug of Chardonnay...

5/11/2006 6:43 PM  
Anonymous LetterB said...

Mmmmm... Cinnamint. Love the hair!

5/11/2006 7:52 PM  
Anonymous Arabella said...

I'm not touching the family issue with a ten-foot pole, but I DO want to touch your hair, in a very platonic, fellow-writer sort of way. Tres chic! I, too, am a hair fiddler, and my hair never looks that cool when I'm done fiddling.

5/11/2006 8:00 PM  
Anonymous stella said...

rock on with you and your bad ass hair cut. you are like so...punk...now.

i wanna do that. unfortuantely i have a VERY WEAK CHIN. i try not to call any unneccesary attention to it. i admire people who can just hack it. i would TOTALLY do it...were my damn bone structure a bit more commanding.

i think your husband is PMS'ing.

it happens.

a memo would be helpful.

5/11/2006 8:20 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Lovin' the 'do. Rock on!

My husband was not overly attached to his mother, but he had to raise her.

Sheesh, boys!!

5/12/2006 5:27 AM  
Anonymous JMo said...

MMMMargarine - one molecule away from being plastic....

If you can't laugh at your own mom who can you laugh at? Mine's crazy...

5/12/2006 9:30 AM  
Blogger Midwestern Deadbeat said...

Dude, your hair ROCKS.

5/12/2006 2:45 PM  

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