Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Writin Wednesday

As you most likely didn't notice I put a links section in the sidebar for the previous four sections of the story. I'm watching my friend's little girl so can't elaborate much on how hard it was and what an enormous sacrifice it was to make the sidebar change. I know, I'm so sorry...

Life in the Valley, Part V

Christine thrusts the bottle of beer that she’s been holding at him and he takes it. She steps around him and walks out of the kitchen. Lanny stays there, staring at the sink, at the spot on the edge of the counter where her back had been resting. He takes a pull on the cold beer.

When he finishes the bottle he follows Christine back to the couch. She’s sitting close to the arm, running her fingers through her thick black hair. Lanny wants to pet it. The glow from the TV in the darkened room casts a sheen on the thick clump she is holding over her shoulder. She runs her fingers rhythmically through it, grooming it.
“Your hair looks pretty,” he says.
She nods slightly, not taking her eyes off the screen.
He scoots closer to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder and she drops her hands in her lap as she leans against him. Her head smells of soap and body. Of her body. He leans over and puts his nose into the crown of her head, breathing deeply.
“How’s Katie.”
“Fine. Good. She’s got spring break next week. I think she’s going to her dad’s. Maybe that’s when I’ll go to Spokane.”
After a moment Lanny says, “You want to take her to a movie this weekend or something?”
“Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe. Lanny, I gotta go to bed.” Christine sits up and ties her hair back in it’s elastic.
Lanny bends to put his boots back on and says without looking, “All right. Um, maybe, you know, I’ll stop by tomorrow after work?” He looks up at her and she shrugs.
“Sure. Whatever.”
They stand together and Lanny hugs her, again breathing deeply, his nose to her head. Separating, Lanny leans down to kiss her and she turns her chin up to him, but pulls away when he presses too hard on her mouth.
After brief goodbyes, Lanny goes to his car. When he feels for the keys in his jacket pocket his hand finds the Skittles he bought for Katie and he glances back to the door. Christine is looking out the thin curtain. He waves, and she waves and closes the curtain. Within a moment the glow from the TV is extinguished and Lanny stands in the dark, kneeding the Skittles bag and staring at the darkened window. He gets in his car and heads for windy, dangerous road that leads up out of the flood plain. Maybe Bill's at Ole's playing shuffleboard.


Anonymous Nancy said...

Don't go, Lanny! It's obvious you care about her! Show her you will take care of her and the baby!

also, I am impressed that you remember details like that Lanny kicked off his boots in the last part. I would always leave things like that dangling when I wrote.

4/12/2006 8:59 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...'s where the dialog needs to pick up speed and somebody's got to say something forceful. Don't ask me what. Keep writing!

4/12/2006 11:50 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

It's obvious you're setting something up with this one. I wanted Lanny to DO something, anything. Christine is tired of his bullshit.

4/12/2006 12:25 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

The next part gets tricky to write, and I'm afraid I'm dragging it out a little. You all will have to let me know if it gets a little snoozy.

4/12/2006 1:41 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Lanny, get in to your car and sit there for a while then go ring the doorbell and go back to her!!

PS) I totally noticed the sidebar last week. Did I not comment oh that? I thought I had. My bad.

4/12/2006 4:23 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Your so techno-savvy. Anytime I mess with my links I fuck the whole thing up.

Great use of smells and tactile sensations. Usually I skim things I am reading. I am NOT skimming this story. That's a good thing.

4/13/2006 5:51 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

You're not dragging it out at all. I love the way you describe the people. I like knowing who I'm dealing with.

Right now I'm getting the feeling that Lanny is a little dopey. :P

4/13/2006 9:07 AM  
Anonymous kathie said...

I love some of the subtle touches...doesn't take eyes off tv when he's talking to her, etc. I'm loving it. Though I do want to go back and read the whole thing as one...that's a good sign, right?

4/13/2006 4:29 PM  

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