Friday Concoction

Last night I had an erotic dream about this guy. I was a single mom and had found a beautiful cutting board on the beach earlier in the day when I was walking with Quinn. He lived across the hall from me and was an important chef. I brought the board over to him and asked him the best way to clean it and he gave me a lecture on the importance of oiling your cutting boards. He was kind of an ass, and I laughed at his self-importance, then suddenly I was sleeping on a giant cozy futon with soft white sheets and warm duvet. Quinn was asleep in the other room, and when I sat up, wanting to go check on him, Chef sat up suddenly and said, "You look so different from her. It's nice to wake up to something different." He was on the other side of the futon, leaning on an elbow, watching me stretch and scratch my head. He reached over, tentatively, and felt my hair. Then suddenly he was kissing me, hard. I couldn't breathe and was getting that weak, first-kiss, feeling in my stomach. I reached for his arm, which was holding the back of my head, and his wrist felt like a twig. I jumped back and he looked at me shocked. I ran into the bathroom, breathing heavily and sat on the toilet. "Are you okay?" he called in to me. "Yes, yes. I'm all right. Just out of breath. I'll just be a minute." The toilet paper roll didn't have any toilet paper, just coils and coils of extension cords. I sat there, wondering if I would be able to wipe with an extension cord...

I had a discussion with a friend the other day about how to celebrate Easter. She's vaguely religious and her husband's an atheist. Thus far I've told Madeleine Easter is a celebration of the coming of spring, and the Easter Bunny gives all the kids presents and candy (if they're good and don't push their little brothers over when they're just learning how to walk and if they don't say o-KAY!!! in that exasperated tone when asked to pick their dripping sippy cups off of the floor) because the EB's so happy all the flowers are coming out and babies are being born. On Christmas I do an additional Solstice kind of explanation of why and how we celebrate, but also we talked about how a very kind and good man was born around that day and many people like to celebrate his birthday too. This works for us, but her cousins are very Catholic and we always go to their house for Easter dinner. I guess I'm not so much worried, but curious what will happen. Madeleine can be very convincing. And which story seems more believable (and palatable) to 4-year-olds? Happy bunnies with presents or dead guys stumbling out of caves...

Can you tell I'm melancholy? That dream put me in the weirdest mood this morning.

Here, maybe this section will snap me out of it...

Links and Asundry

• I read a couple quotes by this comic (Eugene Mirman, if you wanna google). I can' think of how to describe him, so here's a sample joke: I was talking to this girl, and she was like, "IT's okay for me to fag because my brother is gay." That's a terrible excuse. The reason it's okay for me to say fag is because I'm full of hate.
  
• Did you know Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris made a record together. It's like mixing chocolate and peanut butter in one great snack. Brilliant.
  
• I didn't buy any of those laptop bags from the other day. I got premature buyer's remorse and was already berating myself for my poor selection. So I carted my new brushed-steel baby to Liquid Planet in a backpack full of diapers yesterday. By the way, check out some of the cool coffee paraphenilia.
  
• Did I say I couldn't decide on a laptop bag? I just found this one. It's funky but grown-up. What do you think?
  
• I don't have an iPod because when would I ever be able to put on earphones? Tell me!! When?? But if I did, I would put it in this, yes iWood. heh.
  
• Token pretty thing. But really, gorgeous, don't you think?
  

Then (that's me, front and center - yes, those are my real teeth. They fit a little better now.)



Now (Tiny's in the braided pigtails.)