Friday, December 19, 2008


Wednesday was Madeleine's Christmas show/ Sam's funeral/ Sam's post-funeral potluck - slash - family reunion / Madeleine's 7th birthday party / an unscheduled playdate with the most difficult party guest whose mom was late picking her up at our house after the party and Jim had to carry her upside-down out to her mom's car because the little fuck wouldn't put her stuff on and we were ready to go to bed. And that's pretty much what this month has been like so far.

What do you say when your mouth is full of Safeway cold-cuts and your great-aunt-in-law comes up and gives you a hug, squishing your paper plate loaded with macaroni salad and fudge against your sweater, and says, "How are you doing?" My standard: "Pretty good, considering. How are you?"

I wish you could say "I'm sad, but also pretty stressed and confused about why Catholics sit in a silent room for hours on end with their dead loved ones laid out in front of them until their throat hurts from crying and they get eye infections from the bleeding 3-year-old mascara which has coated their retinas." That's what I'd like to say to one of the 45-or-so aunts/cousins/friends that have hugged me in the last three days. First off, Sam is not my son, so I've grieved mostly for his dad (our really good friend) and Sam's mom (Jim's cousin). I'm really really sad, and that's it. I'm sad. But really? I've got two pretty awesome kids that need a bunch of stuff (including a mom that's not all wigged out and talking about dying and bringing them to wakes to see the corpse of their dead cousin), I've got three birthdays to juggle, I've got other random and asundry holiday preparations to manage. I'm fucking busy, yo.

So that's how I'm doing. If you were wondering.


Blogger Orange said...

Take care of yourself, yo. 2009 is likely to be a damn sight better than late 2008—though still sad.

Incidentally, I think the mascara has only coated the cornea. The retina's back inside the back of the orb, isn't it?

12/19/2008 4:13 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Christmas always seems to turn into a frickin' free-for-all whether it's planned or not.

keep on rockin' in the free world.

12/19/2008 8:47 PM  
Anonymous apathy lounge said...

I failed to return after the post about losing someone and I didn't know who it was. Now I realize it was a child. Not that an older person would have made a difference, but CRAP! This is a kid! I'm just so sorry for all of it, Mignon. Funerals are usually when I, too, become baffled by the ways organized religions deal with death. It only adds to the confusion and sadnes. I'm thinking about you...and Sam.

12/20/2008 8:16 AM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Isn't life freaking messy? If you need to, please gear back. Your kids will survive being home and hanging out with you rather than going out full of false cheer. I just want you to take care of yourself.

12/20/2008 4:47 PM  
Blogger Mamalujo said...

Merry fucking Christmas, Mignon and Jim. No, I really mean that. Fucking is not such a bad word, yanno?

12/22/2008 7:09 AM  
Blogger meno said...

I got this huge rush of anger about the party guest brat. I swear sometimes i wish it were legal to beat other people's kids.

Catholics are deeply puzzling to me, pretty much at all times, but especially at funerals.

12/22/2008 10:39 PM  
Blogger Imez said...

all the access I have to you now but what you had to say came out best right here.

you are a really, really good blogger, Mignon...that has nothing to do with anything and isn't particularly helpful, but, it was a unique post, artfully done. So...there.

12/23/2008 3:36 PM  
Anonymous robyn said...

Yeah, as busy as fucking busy is, it sucks that it doesn't quite cover it.

(Three birthdays and holidays to juggle?! Damn.)

I also don't get funerals, or Catholics. And I was raised one.

Keep on hangin' in.

12/23/2008 4:39 PM  

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