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Grab Bag
Jim and I had another discussion the other night about the wonder of blogging and how it is destroying life as we know it. About how when he gets home we deal with children and maybe eat or maybe just stand in front of the fridge and graze and then I get on the computer. The internet. That dirty word. And it's all true. I agreed with him, but also tried to explain how reading blogs and then writing refreshes me. Makes me feel like I'm a grown human with a working mind instead of some kind of vacuum cleaner life guard hostage negotiator. This went back and forth and I tearfully regaled him with the tedious and mind numbing tasks I encounter every five minutes and how it saps me emotionally and mentally and how important it is to find something that can refill the coffers. And then came the inevitable question, "If you don't like staying home with the kids, why don't you try to find a part-time job or something?"
I don't hate this question, and I'm not even that irritated at him for asking, because he really can not understand the struggle. I don't think men in general are clueless... ACK! Oh jee-ZUS I sound like such a freakin prick for complaining about this situation, don't I?? I mean, I actually have a CHOICE in the matter which is a better fate than 95% of mothers out there face. In fact, screw it. I can't type any more of this tripe. There are some things that trouble us that are either too trivial, gross or just plain annoying to subject others too. This, for one. This stupid-ass complaint that I get bored at home and then we argue about the best way for me not to be bored.
Let's instead talk about dreams. Okay, this is a grey area in the Subjects that Annoy the Hell Out of Listeners. So I won't go into detail, because...zzzzzz.... right? Well there were a lot of snakes. Everywhere and they weren't particularly scary, just numerous. And then there was some driving too fast on really bad roads. And there. That's enough about that...
Now onto tattoos. I have one on my ankle like this:
And I decided I want to get another one. Maybe something like this either down my calf or around my upper calf.
And also I want to get these:
You know? They spin around when you're stopped at a light. In downtown Missoula. Wouldn't that be fly?
Okay, and let's wrap up this trash taco with this: Scribble Dabble Scrabble. There, that'll funk you up.
I don't hate this question, and I'm not even that irritated at him for asking, because he really can not understand the struggle. I don't think men in general are clueless... ACK! Oh jee-ZUS I sound like such a freakin prick for complaining about this situation, don't I?? I mean, I actually have a CHOICE in the matter which is a better fate than 95% of mothers out there face. In fact, screw it. I can't type any more of this tripe. There are some things that trouble us that are either too trivial, gross or just plain annoying to subject others too. This, for one. This stupid-ass complaint that I get bored at home and then we argue about the best way for me not to be bored.
Let's instead talk about dreams. Okay, this is a grey area in the Subjects that Annoy the Hell Out of Listeners. So I won't go into detail, because...zzzzzz.... right? Well there were a lot of snakes. Everywhere and they weren't particularly scary, just numerous. And then there was some driving too fast on really bad roads. And there. That's enough about that...
Now onto tattoos. I have one on my ankle like this:
And I decided I want to get another one. Maybe something like this either down my calf or around my upper calf.
And also I want to get these:
You know? They spin around when you're stopped at a light. In downtown Missoula. Wouldn't that be fly?
Okay, and let's wrap up this trash taco with this: Scribble Dabble Scrabble. There, that'll funk you up.
posted by Mignon at 10:58 AM
no. not boring. fascinating. and soothing, because it's the same dilemma we face nightly around here. and for a lot of the same reasons.
also, that would make a sweet ink.
T and I have a similar discussion over my woodworking. I admit I spend a little too much time holed up in the garage... But its the only thing that keeps me sane.
But the average part-time job out there—do those feed the intellect, or just occupy time? And would the people there be half as clever and sympatico as the people you've met through blogging? Plus, if you worked part-time, what would happen with the tedious and mind-numbing household tasks—is Jim volunteering to take those on, or would you do those plus a job?
I have ruminated about getting a blank crossword puzzle tattooed on myself. Most likely I'd wimp out and never do that, but I like to think about it. Passes the time, y'know.
I hope you and Jim work it out. I know my wife and I had to figure out this is OK for me, even though she has no interest in it. I remember your comments to me on this subject, they were very helpful.
Your ankles are HOT.
yes. statement by me recently: "i sort of liked it better when the computer was broken." but we're very pot-and-kettle in this matter. and both have f/t outside the house jobs. and both don't clean the house well. but so anyway, my point is, write about it if you want to vent about it: isn't that part of the beauty of the internet?
(earlier today, i was trying to think about what i wasted time doing before blogs. because oh trust me, i was online wasting time. it was homepages and emails and well, writing down song lyrics? and playing tetris. but i had so much more time then. i really double super hate this growing up stuff.)
ps statement by me was to seth. who was on bikeforums.net. or ebay. or something. different location, same vice.
You're allowed not to love every minute of stay at home motherhood no matter how fortunate you are to be able to do it. And you're allowed to have a legitimate outlet in writing online and reading/connecting with other online writers. It's something you can do from home in your down time. What else can you say that about? Watching the garbage that is daytime tv?
And to me a part time job seems like a vicious cycle. Yes it gets you out of the house and maybe doing something you enjoy but then all the money you make goes to have someone else watch your kids.
There's no easy answer to this dilemma. Blogging is a hobby, maybe one that not everyone sees as legitimate but if you find it fulfilling and rewarding and your kids aren't sitting in shitty diapers and burning down the house while you read through your blogroll, then what's the big deal?
Mignon~ You're a supergenius! Maybe it's just time to mix things up a little, how you do things and what you do, with and without the kids. Take them on some crazy ass field trips that will feed your curiosity, too. I'm serious. i.e. we got a tour of a small local soda factory and got to see how it's made. I just asked if we could come in and they said yes, smocks, hairnets and all - we thought it was as cool as hell and it was an amusement for the people working there. Ask Jim to take a sick day and take off in the car all by yourself. Try 52projects.com
You're incredibly creative and adventurous, I'm convinced you'll be back to groovy.
Wait. Where's the tattoo? I can't seeeee. <--That was a whine. I am totally fascinated by body art. I used to design them for extra money. Until people started getting too damn picky. I mean, I know it's going on your body forever and ever or until you're rich enough to get it removed, but SERIOUSLY. Does it matter if the damn fairy's hand is tilted one fraction to the left or two? HUH? Does it?
Phew.
ah..am looking for a new tattoo right now.
as to the rest...i blame it on the weather..it's got a lot of us acting up..
Here's my two cents:
Many men think that the home is only for care-taking and a job has to take place far from the hearth. They might also think that the Internet represents a mindless distraction, rather like sitting on the sofa hour after hour watching the soaps. But writing a blog is not just a time-killer to get away from having cabin fever. It's a creative outlet for something you have a real vocation for: W-R-I-T-I-N-G. And something that has led you to the possibility of publishing your stuff elsewhere for a bit of fame and fortune. *That* my friend, is a JOB.
Also:
- Nice tatoo.
- Cool rims. Those *would* be fun, especially with a window shattering sound system.
- Where *did* you get that video clip? *snort*
O.K., that wasn't my two cents. More like a nickel.
At first I thought you were going to get rims as a tattoo. That would be cool!
Where do you find all your music? Some of this stuff I hear, like, months later on the "cool" station.
Your grownup thinking time is at night and his at day. You guys are on different brain schedules.
Daycare is better than mom and dad breaking up. Get a full time job if you want.
Could be worse. At least Jim wants your attention. Think how sad you'd be if he was perfectly happy with the situation.
I think it's a question of moderation. Internet time can easily become all-encompassing. To be honest, I used to be resentful that my husband spent too much time on the computer. Then, I started getting into it myself, and now my time at the screen probably trumps his.
In my humble opinion, the fact of your blogging is something that's not debatable--you blog, pure and simple, just as Jim hunts, etc.--but perhaps the times/hours of day, etc. could be negotiable within the family structure. Maybe it's a question of eating dinner together each night, and then spending a certain amount of "couple time" either right after the kids go to bed or before you go to bed, and then the rest of the evening is yours, to spend as you please, without guilt? Something like that.
I really wish you'd continued your train of thought, Mignon. I wish you'd write a whole nother post about it. It probably applies to all your readers.
So, does he want you to watch TV with him? Play outside? Good stuff like that? Or it just annoying to him that you're on? (Used to annoy me with Rock.) Is evening when he's home your only internet time? I have like a million questions.
Complaining is the heart of interesting blogs.
If blogging keeps you from being bored...why does he care? Would he rather you have a job than spend time blogging? Honestly, I'd love to see the day when we get paid for this gig. You know...so that we wind up being productive AND we make money at the same time. Nice work if you can get it.
I wish you had kept going too. It's not boring, it's what so many of us struggle with. What makes me so happy about blogging is that I am able to hang onto a scrap of my identity as a writer. I might be cleaning mac'n cheese off the wall, i might be reading the goddamn Fire Engines book for the 50th time, i might be eating my lunch in the shower but i know at some point I'll be able to sit down and write something about it. To be able to record and comment and shape my wee existence into a little bit of art is incredibly important to me. (That people actually read what I write and respond is the icing on the cake). I also really love being able to read what other people have to say about their experiences on their blogs because it expands my perspective on life and momdom and can be a wonderful release (especially when reading a talented and funny writer like you). I guess what I mean to say is that you will have to pry my laptop from my cold, dead hands, motherf*ckers. Ahem.
At first I thought you were getting the hubcap tattooed on you.
By the way, I feel your pain with the SAHM thing. You feel guilty complaining, but it's not easy.
Mignon-
Looks like Cora will be playing indoor. We'll have 3 with her. You have have your girl bud on standby if that works!
That Tat rocks. Want to come with me in 4 years when I get my Buddhist symbol on my neck...and my husband promptly divorces me.