Friday, September 29, 2006

I give up

Pleeeeeezzzz help me... I know I can figure this CSS shit out, but I've really got a gazillion other things to do! Specifically: go get my coffee from the car and take off my shoes. Please? Help me get this damn header image to quit pretending it's an eye chart and instead stretch across the page like a well-behaved word jumble should. HELP MEEEE!!!

Here. I'll give you some pretty links to wet your appetite and as a down payment (I blame Debbie for my new addiction to Etsy.)

- Funky drawings with monkeys
- Please don't buy this, unless you put it in the mailbox of your crappy neighbor that complains about the one little brown spot on your lawn that the sprinkler doesn't quite reach. And it must have a little pin in its gonad-al region.
- Hmm! Nifty.
- Pretty and promising like your first glass of wine on a blind date.
- And these too, but I'm having a little trouble with the logistics.

And as an added incentive, I'll send you my newest fave CD full of songs like this if you help: Pink Moon, Nick Drake


Blogger Kristin said...

NO! I'm not telling. I liked the other one much better.

9/29/2006 10:53 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Shit, really? My other idea was a big montage/collage of pictures of all our books and the "Thought Concoction" spelled out in random letters across the top. But all of our books are put away while the house is for sale. And also I'm not nearly that ambitious.

I was mostly just sick of the old one, and this at least has some hidden words...

9/29/2006 11:06 AM  
Blogger V said...

Well, I wish I had a clue for yuh! But at least I know now I could use to up my perscription!

9/29/2006 11:21 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Here's what you do:

Open your template and look for the section titled "header"
Now, back away from the keyboard. Stand on your left foot and stick your left thumb in your mouth. Grab your raised right foot with your right hand and begin jumping up and down and turning in circles. Fart loudly; more than once, if possible. Hum "I love you, you love me" by Barney the dinosaur. When you've completed five rotations, stop, let go of your foot, sit down on the floor (still sucking your thumb and humming the I love you song. Remove your thumb from your mouth and scream, "GODDAMN CSS!" as loudly as you can.

That should fix it right up!

9/29/2006 12:30 PM  
Blogger Esereth said...

I think your eye chart is very clever.

And thanks for finding a use for the word "gonad-al" cuz that is a word that doesn't get as much play as it should.

9/29/2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

You need the width set to 740px after you load it. I'm emailing you right now some directions in case that doesn't make sense. The comment box won't let me submit coding *grumble*

9/29/2006 1:31 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

V, glad I could be of service. Virtual colonoscopies will begin next week...

Mamalujo, were you joking? It's not working...hmm...maybe I'll try it again...

Es, did you find the other words? Considering your approval of my vocab today, you may be pleasantly surprised.

9/29/2006 1:33 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Oh! Tinky-tink-tink in the tink-tink pot! (Have I told you that's our potty song? And that I sing it every time I read your blog?) You rock - I'm going to check my email right now.

9/29/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger jen said...

tell me if you can't get it figured out. I know a guy who knows a guy...seriously.

btw, glad i found your blog. am digging it.

9/29/2006 2:29 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I downloaded Old Crow Medicine Show from Rhapsody and I've been thinking of you all day as I play it.

9/29/2006 6:58 PM  
Blogger Mitch said...

The man pillow is hideous, but not nearly as disturbing as the red mermaid with the lobsided boobies with nipples and areoles stitched on them. *shudders*

9/29/2006 7:22 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I think the eye chart looks cool. And, according to it I have 20/20 vision. Thanks.

9/29/2006 7:29 PM  
Anonymous arabella said...

Someone actually bitches about a brown spot on your lawn???

This person needs to spend a little time in my neighborhood.

9/30/2006 5:55 AM  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

Wish I could help you, but I know almost nothing about style sheets and CSS, and I am also the kind of person who can't leave well enough alone, tinkers with technology like I really knew something, and ends up with stuff that's far more disturbing than the word search turned into an eye chart. Suerte, good luck.

9/30/2006 2:27 PM  
Anonymous Dawn said...

I rather thought the header was an homage to the Matrix....

And those fucking monkeys are SCARY

9/30/2006 4:20 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I love Etsy too. And I included some links to cool sites that you might like in my Friday post (did you see it?)

Let me know if you ever need help with the CSS stuff -- though I'm guessing Tink would be able to assist too.

10/01/2006 4:10 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Um, sorry I'm no help with the CSS stuff. I don't even know what CSS stands for.

And like you, I'm having trouble with the logistics of that earwear too.

10/01/2006 12:03 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I wish I knew how to do that sort of thing. I have to pay to have my banners done, though word on the street is that Typepad lets you do your own. I'm willing to try it. Good luck with yours. I can see that you're restless with the old so many of us are these days. You might ask Kristen over at Fringlements for some help.

10/02/2006 7:12 AM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

I'm sorry to say I'm of no help with your CSS issue. I can't even get stuff in my sidebar to line up and behave.

I like the earrings; unfortunately, I'm usually to lazy to put any in my earholes.

Love the Nick Drake!!!

10/02/2006 9:56 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

oh. siiiiigh.

Nick Drake is like a cigarette after sex. necessary. perfect.

10/02/2006 11:34 PM  

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