Thursday, April 20, 2006

Cleaning House

My mom's coming tomorrow. I haven't seen her for 10 months - she's been traveling around the world with a backpack and a pension. Lucky lady, you say? Yes, maybe so. But she's also paid her dues for the last 63 years and deserves every good thing that comes her way. Which brings me to this: I hate bur-bur. blech-blech! Remember several years ago when I posted some pictures of the progress on our room downstairs? Today A Guy is texturing the walls and tomorrow as my mom's plane bounces into town the carpet will be installed. And it's fucking burbur! My mom bears 4 children, two incompatible husbands, many years as a single mom, a trip around the world complete with biting insects, and I give her burbur! Okay, so it could be worse, and maybe it's my own personal demon, but I really hate the carpet. It was cheap, and we're moving soon so I had to do it. But for the record, I'm offended by it.

And now I've gotta get my ass in gear and clean some stuff. So I'm starting with the pile of notes lying around... here they are:

  • Eddie Veder was on SNL the other night. He had longish hair and a beard and looked exactly like a young Willie Nelson. Now I've fallen in love a little bit with Eddie Veder. And it's not weird and twisted like my crush on Willie! Here - look at this picture.
  • Would anyone watch TV if there was no remote control? Reality TV caters to the remote. We'd all be watching Dynasty still, I think, without the clickie.
  • On the Today Show last week they highlited a new cookbook encorporating (incorporating? hell. I always screw that up.) Twinkies. Before I ran to the bathroom to vomit they showed Twinkie sushi. Where are the censors when we need them?
  • Isn't it cool that in chess the Queen gets to go everywhere and be so powerful and the King can't do shit?
  • Remember that Ray-Ban commercial a while ago where all the vampires are hanging out and the sun comes up and then they all put on their Ray-Bans and laugh with their fangs sticking out everywhere? That was pretty scary, but cool.
  • Here are a couple of things I've been subjecting people to lately that cause them feign interest: details of my head cold, descriptions of my dreams, details of my childrens' head colds, complaining about changing the ink cartridge in my printer, details of my stomach x-ray (except the part about the really hairy radiologist - I'm pretty sure that part was funny), about the time I was thinking about Patsy Cline and then she came on the radio, and all the stuff I'm saying right now...
  • Madeleine went to the dentist last week and they painted her teeth with a fluoride film (instead of those weird foam trays full of poison). Yesterday she asked for some jelly beans and then went into her room for a while. She came out later and had crushed all the jelly beans and stuck them to her teeth. She said, "Just like the dentist, right Mommy?" Yes, except right now your teeth are rotting and could fall out at any moment...
  • You know that song "Send Me on My Way" by Rusted Root? I've been trying to download it forever because it makes me so happy and makes the world seem so sunny and full of chocolate. Except for the last 15 years I thought the name of the song was "Simmy and the Wave."
  • Why do old guys wear hats so they're just perched on top of their heads? And why do people always put ridiculous-looking too-big hats on handicapped people?

Now, there's a house full of dog hair calling my name...


Blogger Arabella said...

I have no idea what burbur is, but I hate it to be one with you in spirit.

When I was little, I once swished some Coke around in my mouth like it was mouthwash, much to my mother's dismay.

Printer ink cartridges were the bane of my existence for many years.

I have nothing else remotely interesting to say. Thank you for your supportive comments on my blog.

4/20/2006 10:33 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

You're right. Eddie Vedder looks mighty fine in that picture. And down here in Texas...we love us some Willie Nelson. Need to borrow my vacuum cleaner?

4/20/2006 10:53 AM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

SO much to love in this post!!! "Simmy and the Wave," hot Eddie Veder (I've always had a crush on him), Twinkie sushi (WTF?), a hairy radiologist, the coolness that is chess, your precocious daughter's jellyteeth...

Once again, glad to have "met" you in the Wonderful Wide World of Blogs. :)

4/20/2006 11:17 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Oh Mignon, how I adore you.

EV is hawt and I love his politics. I saw Pearl Jam in concert a few years ago and he was awesome, really played to the crowd.

And if want more of the Root, let me know. I have everything they've ever recorded in studio, including Simmy and the Wave, which at one time I thought was Simean (like the monkey)Away.

Re: the hats - I think it's because old guys heads are bigger and they are wearing old hats. And the MRs and handicapped people always have people buying their clothes for them without trying them on, which totally sucks.

I hope you have an absolute blast with Mama Mignon, berber carpet notwithstanding.

4/20/2006 11:38 AM  
Anonymous LetterB said...

I lived for a couple years without a remote control. Including when I was postpartum and nursing 18 hours a day. (Why yes, it did suck). I still managed to watch lots of TV. Now we have a remote but I can't say we watch more reality tv, per se. Perhaps when we get cable...

4/20/2006 12:17 PM  
Anonymous stella said...

can you post your email? or email me...

i have GOT to send you something...after reading part of this.

4/20/2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

You have to change the name of your blog. I list my links alphabetically (so I can't be accused of playing favorites), but when I'm playing catch-up, you're always near the bottom and it takes me forever to get here. Or I guess I could just start at the bottom and work my way up...

The Power of The Queen is my favorite part of chess, too.

4/20/2006 12:44 PM  
Anonymous Daphne said...

Okay now. First, there was Twinkie sushi in my office two days ago, only it was called "Iowa sushi." It was offered to me at 10 a.m. and I declined. I wouldn't be surprised if the dirty plate is still sitting on the cabinet in the accounting area. Don't worry, I tell myself, those chemicals don't attract insects.

Now as for the Queen: The secret is we all have that power and we are wasting it on protecting the men/King. Don't you think?

But it's true, Eddie Vedder is looking hotter these days.

4/20/2006 2:32 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

GG, you know, I was thinking of going with AAAAA1111 - what do you think? I have the same problem. My blogroll is listed roughly in the order in which I started reading each site, but is irrelevant to how much I like each blog.

Stella, my email is on my profile - just click my face and it's listed on the left side somewhere on that page.

LB, clickies were made for nursing moms. That's some kind of cruel and unusual punishment to fore to watch tv without.

T - you can't send me any more music until I get my mix done and send it to you. Because I'll just get more intimidated and end up copy Kurt Loder's playlist and sending it to you, and from what I sampled yesterday it's kind of boring and weird.

Wordgirl - Willie Nelson is in my top two favorites of all time. I go to his shows and stand there among the 50-year-old women shaking my finger in the Willie Salute. If he throws his bandana towards me someday, those old biddies better just watch the fuck out!

Arabella, burbur (or berber, I guess) is carpet that looks like a poorly knitted sweater. And I'm guessing the acid in Coke probably can tear the enamel right of your teeth. Every time I go to the dentist I hear her lecturing someone in the other room about the evils of pop. My tongue is burning thinking about swishing with it.

Jess, thanks. I feel the same way!

Daphne, yes. About Eddie. I remember thinking he used to take himself to seriously, a la Bono, but now I just think he's hot and everything he does musically and politically is okay with me.

Hey, my word verification is pnsodti. Penis oddity!

4/20/2006 2:34 PM  
Anonymous DD said...

Greetings to your Mom & Jan from our family here in Dresden !!

She had asked about the Spring flooding here. It wasn't as bad as 2002, but was actually worse downstream this time.

Anyway... let her use your bandwidth to check out the high water photos I sent her a link for.

4/21/2006 12:18 AM  
Blogger Jaye Wells said...

I love Rusted Root. I thought I was the only one. I listen to that CD all the time.

Willie is a God. Love him too.

Berber is sometimes a necessary evil when one has children. But you're right, it's the antichrist of carpeting.

4/21/2006 7:44 AM  
Anonymous honestyrain said...

burbur. is that a weird word or what. burbur. i will never buy burbur becuase i couldn't stand telling anyone that it was burbur.

4/21/2006 8:24 AM  
Blogger Mitch said...

Last time I moved, I lost my remote for a few weeks. I actually thought I'd put it in a box that had been thrown out, but it turned up about a month after I settled back in. In the meantime, I picked the channel that had something I could at least tolerate watching durring most of the hours I watch TV. Volume was more of an annoyance than the channel - ever notice how some shows are much louder than others?
Doesn't some species of sealife need to be involved for something to be considered sushi? Or seaweed? Something oceanic?
You know, it took me a few months of that comercial to pay enough attention to realize they were vampires. Until that breakthrough, I thought it was the dullest comercial & didn't understand why they thought it would inspire people to buy their product. Then I was like, "Oh, that IS clever!"
I never could tell what the hell they were saying, yought it was something like "Simeon Away." Still love the song, but knowing the words definately helps.

4/21/2006 9:05 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Willie Nelson is ugly with a capital U.

I hate burber too. Hate it.

Now I have to go and listen to that song. Am I the only person in the world who hasn't heard it? Oh, yeah and gotta get me some Twinkie Sushi. What about DingDong Sushi?

4/21/2006 12:39 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

(It's incorporate. And yes, berber. Fecking berber!)

I just heard about some Twinkie recipe in which you cram a breakfast sausage link into the Twinkie and then (I think) fry it. Did you just retch a little bit, too?

Late last night, Mr. Tangerine and I were snacking on Thin Mints, and he was laughing at how my teeth looked coated in delicious brown goo. So then he stuffed a cookie in his mouth, chewed it up, and smiled broadly. I had just taken a swig of milk, which I managed to spew into the sink, but I believe some of the milk came out of my nose. (This is not recommended by dentists.)

Wanna hear about my cough?

Do you think rockers' various versions of "guitar face" are the same as their "sex face"? I vote yes.

4/21/2006 4:39 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

Oh—What? You mean I'm not your third most beloved B-list blogger? I...thought we had something. *sniffle*

4/21/2006 4:39 PM  
Anonymous Prairie Dawn said...

Mignon, burbur is on the brink of becomming seriously cool, mark my words my friend. It enjoyed it's coolest perioud between '79 and '83, don't you think? I know, it was a short period of cool, nevertheless it will make a resurgence.
Hello to your darling Mum, I love her. I wish I was there rolling around on your burbur with your kids and laughing with you and your Mum.

4/23/2006 9:15 PM  

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