Birthday Ode

Happy Birthday Madeleine! Four years ago today your dainty moss-covered head was stuck in the birth canal while you presumably waited for me to get the job done. Sorry about that - had to resort to the giant plunger to tug you out. Dr. Polo posted a foot up on the gurney, turned on the suction and yanked you out without so much as a "brace yourself" to your dad and me, who were playing a nice game of cribbage. (The cribbage game has somehow become part of my memory of the day of your birth. Although, after consulting with your dad, there was no cribbage played on that day.) From then on, my heart has stretched and grown and often feels as if it will burst with the enormous and wonderful task of loving you. Now I know why mama bears maul hikers (aside from the fact that they look so yummy in all that down). The thought of something hurting you makes me feel violent. But you are a girl now, and you're learning how to take care of yourself in your own way. Today at school when Andrew was poking you during the name song, I was so proud when I heard you say, "Knock it off buddy." Next thing you know, I won't have to hold your hands and cheer when you poop.

Madeleine, when it comes to describing the wonderfulness of you, I am at a loss for adequate words. Let me just say, in your four years you have run us through the gamut of emotions and I thank you for every minute. Parenting makes me feel manic at times, but in a good way. Like a milkshake spiked with Ritalin. Comfort food with a kick.

Lately I've found I talk to you as if you are my equal, which you have proved to be in debate, reason and insight. Your technique could use a little work, but the mechanics are there. During the day, we may argue and struggle, and I lose my shit on occasion (sorry about that little episode at Safeway the other day), but every morning, when I hear you call me in your husky little morning voice, I rush in to see you again. To fill up my Madeleine gas tank. You force me to be a good parent and a good person, and I thank you for that. I love you Teeners. And wish you the best and happiest birthday yet! Now let's go get some sushi and Coldstone!