Thursday, October 16, 2008

VLog: The Return and The Finale

Failed experiment. I'm not sure why I thought that would be so cool. I started in on my own personal video log complete with commentary on music, winter hair-loss, and my neighbor's car accident, and lo it was all junk. Me talking, looking washed out and as if I were retaining water in my 11th month of pregnancy, not what I had in mind. Here's a portion of the transcript:

[clears throat and tosses hair]

[tosses hair again because first hair toss resulted in all hair hanging in front of her face]

Mignon: [In sotto voce, as a result of the 16-day cold] Here we are, at home.

Audience Thought: Well, thank you for that. Your couch and pajama-clad children led me to believe you were in a subway.

[clears throat again, this time catching hold of something, ruminating on it for a moment, then swallowing - grimacing at her mirrored-self swallowing something she just coughed up]

Mignon: The kids don't have school today, so I didn't get to do... [looks skyward, trying to recall if there is anything noteworthy to have skipped out on] ... anything.

Quinn [stage left, in his fake-baby voice that actually sounds just like his real voice, except he talks with his tongue stuck out to his chin]: MOMMY I WANT TO TALK YET ME DO IT BYAH BYAH BYAH YOOK I'M A BABY YET ME-

Mignon [motioning for the child to go away, then, when motions are ignored, shoves him off the back of the couch]: So I wanted to talk about the car accident my neighbor got in yesterday. [stops to think, Why am I talking about this? What can I make up about this event so that it is worthy of describing out loud - Ooooh, let's say - oh wait, I'm still here in front of the camera not saying anything!] It was a bad one and-

Audience Thought: Oh crap. I didn't sign on for this. Is my coffee still hot? Shit. I hate reheating coffee. [leaves to reheat already-reheated coffee, returns with hot stale coffee and a piece of toast]

Mignon [tossing hair, then uses both hands to smear it back behind ears]: -and so it really made me contemplate the defendant side of the aisle.

Audience Thought: Phew. Dodged a bullet there.

Mignon [leans forward to fiddle with iTunes, putting on something super-trendy, tries to sing along, then erupts in a coughing fit while attempting to ska]: HACK HACK HACK

Madeleine [enters from stage right, by hurdling over the side of the couch onto the laptop in Mignon's lap]: MOMMMYYYY, I want to be a-

*screen goes black*

Audience Thought: zzzzzZZZ*snort*KNXX Crap. My coffee's cold again.


Blogger Orange said...

Please, don't stop not vlogging. I like this post!

Word verification: yebsheby. That's what I always say.

10/16/2008 2:47 PM  
Blogger spadamchrist said...

The finale of "Will & Grace" was very good but I feel it could have been better. Anyone watching the show for years would have thought that Will and Grace would be the ones who would spend their lives together, since they seemed to have a deep, soulful connection when compared to Jack and Karen, who developed a playful, immature and even superficial relationship. Yet, this was not the case: Jack and Karen grew old together, while Will and Grace didn't speak to each other for 2 years, then reconciled, and then lost touch with each other for 20 years. I liked this twist because this actually happens in reality. Sometimes close best friends grow apart while mere acquaintances become life-long soul mates..

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10/16/2008 9:18 PM  
Blogger Imez said...

I disagree about the Will&Grace finale..I thought it was very well done.

Just so we're clear.

Anyway, back to you Mignon.

Granted, that last post was probably more entertaining than ANY video post by anybody could have been. But that is because you are a great writer, and you captured the awkwardness of mortals talking to a box very very well.

Seriously, please keep a healthy mix here. Like, videoblog when you have something definite to show, or a short thing to say. It's not good for ruminating, and our physical form hampers our minds, but, I don't know. Something awesome about it.

10/16/2008 10:44 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

your blog, do what you want - but like Imez I wouldn't mind seeing a mix of blog/vlog here. who says vlog has to meet any particular standard? just do whatever strikes your fancy. (plus - I think you are WAY to hard on yourself).

anyway, vlog or not, I'll be around.

10/17/2008 7:18 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Orange, you like the transcript or the real thing? Because the real thing is very similar but would take up about five pages of throat clearing and hair-smearing.

Well Spadamchrist, thank you so much for the kind words. Also, remember to rotate your tires and cough drops get rid of garlic breath!

Imez, you're exactly right. Pithy. Ignore double chin. Awkwardly talking to a box. Awesome stuff. I'll do another sometime, I'm pretty sure.

Bob, I'm not nearly as hard on myself as I should be. Without my brothers around, nobody kicks my ass, and I more than most need a good ass-kickin. My husband is too nice.

10/17/2008 1:03 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Aw, fuck, I miss you.

And I only met you once!

10/21/2008 9:06 AM  

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