Thursday, October 23, 2008

It took me a long time to remember ellipsis.

This past weekend I got pretty loaded at the UofM football game, and I just now remembered that I showed off to my in-laws and Jim's 50-year-old cousin and various acquaintances by stuffing an entire can of Bud Lite in my mouth. No, I'm not a reptile, it was one of those Red Bull-sized cans, but still. I distinctly remember my father-in-law saying, "You're a lucky guy, Jim," and everyone kind of snorting. But in hindsight, they weren't snorting at the obvious innuendo, more at the fact that Jim's drunk wife was stuffing a beer can in her mouth as a clever party trick. Now I'm not so much embarrassed as, how would I put it? Umm. Oh, I know.

I remember one night in college after partying until Dem's closed, we stood out in front of the bar, wolfing down our enormous slices of pizza, and I noticed a girl walking towards us. She was coming from the direction of her dorm, and she was holding a leash attached to a tiny ratty-furred dog. The little rat dog looked just as dour and undernourished as its owner, and I'm sure I nudged Janet and pointed as the girl came toward us, pointedly ignoring our snickering and drunken swaying. Then, just as she reached us, and the scattered clusters of drunks all took notice of the ugly little dog and the angry sober girl, the dog decided to squat and take a crap. In the angry girl's concerted effort to ignore us, it didn't register that her 10 ounce rat-dog was pulling against the leash, so she continued on, until the laughter of the crowd made her finally turn around to see what was so goddamn funny. Well, her rat-dog had been crapping across the entire sidewalk in front of the bar, leaving a trail of rat-dog pellets, so the effect was this:
Ugly Angry Girl - Long leash - Ugly Angry Rat-Dog . . . . . . .

I think I feel like that girl, the moment she noticed the shit-ellipsis. Is there a word for that?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

parametric... eh, maybe 'egg on face.'

p.s. my word verification is smsheat

10/23/2008 6:17 PM  
Blogger Mamalujo said...

Mortified? Which translates as embarrassed-to-death.

And MY word verification is: reeks. I am not shitting.

10/24/2008 6:39 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Anon, parametric? Egg on face is pretty good. I like that. Is there a word for that?

Mamalujo, yes there is an element of mortification, but also exasperation and irritation.

10/24/2008 12:31 PM  
Blogger meno said...


Can you tell i made this up?

Okay my WV is hypopate.

10/24/2008 2:57 PM  
Blogger Imez said...

I love how removed the point of view in this is. You're almost regarding yourself and your friends as distantly as you are the ugly girl with dog.

Sorry, I'm feeling writerly so I start dissecting stories. Would you like an in depth analysis about your relationship with your mother? Cuz I've got one of those, too. Allllll goes back to penis envy.

10/26/2008 9:58 PM  
Anonymous apathy lounge said...

Even if I did stuff a beer can into my mouth, I'm pretty sure my in-laws would never mention it.

10/27/2008 7:56 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Are you sure they weren't just impressed by the obvious innuendo? Because that was my first thought. I it wasn't.

10/29/2008 9:45 AM  
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