Sunday, June 24, 2007

It's a new day.

I'm on a regime. It goes like this:

- Stop eating before I get to that point where my stomach is hideously distended and I want to puke. (Good one, don't you think? Hideous and puke are not words one should associate with mealtime.)

- No more than three slices of bread per day. (My first thought was to buy un-sliced ciabatta and cut it into thirds. I guess I'm the Barry Bonds of regime-making.)

- No cookies. (After the first day you'd think I was coming off meth.)

- Do something aerobic at least three times per week for more than 25 minutes. (This does not include walking around the house looking for my coffee cup, standing in front of the sink washing the endless stream of sippy cup rubber stopper things, swinging on the porch swing, no matter how vigorous the sway, or anything that is not jogging or biking. So that leaves jogging and biking.)

- Alcohol consumption is limited to two nights per week only. (Last night we went to a bbq with a keg of PBR and foul-tasting mojitos served from a mix out of a bucket. AND I HAD SAVED UP FOR THE FUCKING THING TOO. I must learn to ration better. PBR. Christ. I almost went in search of some old-school cough syrup.)

Jim is very excited for me:

Madeleine and Quinn seem to be unhappy about the cookie thing:


Blogger Dawn said...

I would like to suggest an all red wine and pastries regime.

Which is what I am currently involved in...Blood sugar be dammed.

6/24/2007 5:52 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

I hear that if you eat something with fat in it/on it first thing during a meal it will help with the eating too much thing. apparently fats help trigger the eating/satisfied/full feeling.

if nothing else, it's an excuse to eat bread - with butter on it!

6/25/2007 6:57 AM  
Anonymous JMo said...

PBR? you must have spent time in P-town!... Want me to send you a a case of Dead Guy to get you through the BBQ's that serve swill?

6/25/2007 7:54 AM  
Blogger meno said...

My routine involves the "regime of the day". That way i don't get bored.

But to live without cookies is not acceptable.

6/25/2007 9:24 AM  
Anonymous Ortizzle said...

The only way I can avoid the no-no foods is not to have them in the house. I thought I was safe, since I don't have kids. But then there is the husband. Who goes out to do the shopping sometimes. And comes home with sensible things like lettuce, carrots, and... Ferrero Rocher. Because who doesn't sprinkle F.R. over their salad, right?

6/25/2007 11:34 AM  
Blogger lildb said...

you're brave.

cookies = my personal jesus.

6/25/2007 3:13 PM  
Blogger patches said...

PBR? Mouthwash is a better substitute.

6/25/2007 7:04 PM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

The aerobic thing would kill me. Unless it's chasing after Oliver, trying to prevent him from bodily harm, the most aerobic activity I get in a day (week) is making and drinking coffee.

6/25/2007 7:18 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Do they count as "cookies" if you crumble them up and stir-fry them with tofu?

6/26/2007 9:10 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I hear you. Dinner leaves me looking like an Ethiopian child...

Only, without the bone-thin look everywhere else.

6/26/2007 12:38 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Dawn, thank you so much for your support. Dammit. Of course I would have to read it when I'm sitting in the best pastry shop in town.

Bob, I think the only thing that triggers my full feeling is the rising bile in my throat.

Thanks Jason. I know - it would have been tres Portland chic/hip, but in fact it was just our host being cheap. Dead Guy? I wonder if I can get that in Winthrop - I'll be there next weekend...

Meno, I like the "Regime of the Day" idea. I'm all about change. But I'm also all about proving to myself I can do something hard. I mean difficult! Difficult!!

Ortizzle, I had to go look them up. I know what those are. I mean I really know, almost in the biblical sense.

Lildb, I know. I know. I would really like to reach and touch faith right now.

Patches, hence my quest for cough syrup. But that was an exaggeration. Instead I had a small glass of cooking wine.

MamaT, I've had to sacrifice some babysitter time to exercise. Evening typing those words is making me tear up.

Arabella, I don't know what to say to that. Is there someone I can call for you? Cookies and tofu??

Tink, I was actually thinking the size of my belly might make the rest of me look small in proportion. But the only thing that looked small was my head. I looked like Jupiter had collided with one of its moons. (ha ha, how dorky was that?)

6/26/2007 1:29 PM  
Blogger amusing said...

I like the ciabatta in thirds idea. I'm borrowing that.

6/26/2007 4:05 PM  
Blogger Mama P said...

I see your name constantly on Meno's blog, and your comment today made me laugh on why you blog. So I'm here to say that you indeed have cute kids and a cute husband. Of course, you're cute, too. I will read more later. Enjoy your day!

6/26/2007 10:03 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Cough syrup trumps crappy mojitos (and PBR) any day.

6/26/2007 11:00 PM  
Anonymous stella said...

i could not do the cookie thing. aside from eating anything that would be sold in a pastry shop...i bake cookies often. zack eats the cookie dough for breakfast.

just the other day i made chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. you want me to mail you some? oh...nevermind. you quit.

im so sorry. (its really not worth it though...quitting.)

6/27/2007 1:50 PM  
Anonymous LetterB said...

They have mojito mix now? *Shudder*
Almost makes me glad I am pregnant and unable to drink. Almost. So glad you posted some pics!

7/02/2007 7:15 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

Ew. I can't abide any of the "drink" mixes. I'd rather just drink vodka mixed with koolaid. At least then I get to pick the flavors.

Can't believe how big those two are getting.

7/09/2007 7:03 PM  

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