Tuesday, March 27, 2007

There's of course some bad news too...

...but I couldn't be all Debbie Downer from the get-go. First, the house is old. A hundy, abouts. So in the remodel they jacked up the floors while reinforcing the foundation, all in order to keep the pritty pritty hardwoods. Apparently it's not an exact science, so walking in a straight line from the front door to the back gives me Mardi Gras flashbacks. I have yet to get my sea legs, and I'm blaming my first-morning-hangover on motion sickness. No way was it the three beers. Three beers. Number two in the sad state of the union. I have lost my tolerance for alcohol. There will be no lazy afternoon sipping IPAs on the back deck, unless I nurse one pitiful little Coors Lite until it's just warm piss water. Which is marginally worse than the cold fizzy piss water it starts out as. They call it the Silver Bullet, but everyone knows Coors is shootin blanks.

Number three... downsizing and the invevitable overflow of incredibly confusing belongings. If my key bowl could talk, it would be speechless. If my desk could communicate, it would cry. And if Pooey's room weren't inanimate it would apoplectic.






But we got this going, which is nice. The books are still on holiday. They will return happy, as we all do when we take a long vacation in a storage unit.


Alas, my house is a lesbian living in a straight appliance world, like sending Ellen and Porscia to Utah. She digs this stove, also a lesbian, but I'm afraid the Appliance Church will send them to Reconfiguration Camp, or whatever the old boys are calling it. (Secretly, the stove will just buy a strap-on and they'll go on as spinster roommates to appease the Appliance Elders.)

22 Comments:

Blogger Tink said...

You know what's sad? We've owned our house for two months now (lived in it for one) and you're more unpacked then we are! I'm totally digging the record player though.

3/27/2007 1:36 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Ok so I enlarged the picture and that's not a record player...

Whatever the hell it is, it's cool. It makes your room look all classy n' shit. ;)

3/27/2007 1:38 PM  
Blogger meno said...

Just stay in the living room and order take out. Avoid the rest of the house.

The floors are beautiful.

3/27/2007 2:28 PM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

My god, you have a great mind. Dyke appliances buying strap ons!? You and I need to get into a filthy limerick poetry slam sometime.

How is Coors Light and making love in a canoe similar? They're both fucking close to water. I wonder if I could ship homebrew?

3/27/2007 6:27 PM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

If you roll a ball in our 1927 house it will travel all around and come right back to you - just like a boomerang.

3/27/2007 6:48 PM  
Blogger green3 said...

Apparently I'm missing part of the story. Why the heck did you move to this house?

3/27/2007 8:12 PM  
Blogger Jerri Ann said...

poor stove...lol

3/27/2007 9:14 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

Hee. That makes me wonder about the secret life of my microwave. I have a feeling he's transgendered...

The finished room looks awesome and just follow my mantra, the one that Jeff is so sick of hearing he tells me to shove it up my ass... "Let's think critically about what we really need to keep and not be afraid to get rid of some more stuff". Yeah, I hate me too.

3/28/2007 3:46 AM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

I really dig that red and white table.

Your living room looks really nice. I like the colour.

3/28/2007 6:53 AM  
Blogger patches said...

One room at a time. Your living room looks like a fabulous place to read. Appliance Elders.....can't we all just get along?

3/28/2007 2:17 PM  
Anonymous Ortizzle said...

Love the living room/family room/ den or whatever it is.

Plugs: in Spanish, the plug is a 'macho' (male) and the outlet is an 'hembra' (female.) I had no idea it was the same in English. Good luck in your search for a heterosexual mate for your stove! (How are you managing to cook? Or is it take-out and sandwiches?)

3/28/2007 9:25 PM  
Blogger Louise said...

I'll never forget the first time I heard about the "sexuality" of appliance plugs- I went to the hardware store to buy a lead to hook the tv up to the antenna on the roof of my first apartment:

Cute sales boy in trendy city hardware store: "So do you want a male or female?"
Me, taken by shock: "Generally male, but I'm open to possibilities..."

3/29/2007 7:01 AM  
Blogger spellconjurer said...

Sigh,,,,,,I'm So glad you're back. Mamalujo said if I actually came to your town, you'd think I was stalking you. It ruined SO many plans. Jussssssssst kidding. I've blown up all your pictures. I see the boot shaped pencil holder, and the baby wipes and the T.P in the closet and the 5 cowboy hats and your sunglasses and the gummivites, and especially like the box that says Krusteaz. It always makes me laugh to see that brand in the store. As if making something crusty is easier with their product, only I can't buy it because the crusty part sounds like something nasty somehow. I am a stalker aren't I? I'm a dork though. If I did find you, I'd probably knock on the door, and when you answered it? I'd stare at you, smile, and run away. Bleah.

3/29/2007 7:43 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

No, Spellcon, if you came to my house you would help me find all the crap that's lost in the crevices of this house. Thanks to you and your comment, I can finally wipe the baby's butt.

Louise, you know that guy was totally setting you up, right?

Ortizzle, thank you. It is all of those things. Take out sandwiches living room den sitting room.

Patches, yes it is a good place to read. I positioned that ugly cheap black chair in a sunbeam with a view of Mt. Jumbo. Perfect for reading the morning paper.

Mamatulip, I bet you'd like this set too (I'm considering getting it for our front porch).

Tammie, I've thrown out so much stuff when I start to wonder where the more important things are I get panicky. I currently have no idea where any of our black and white wall photos are. They may be hanging in someone else's house...

Jeri Ann, she's good. She found a soul mate in the washing machine.

Green3, I just couldn't handle the commute any more.

OTJ, I was thinking of you this morning when I was changing the baby and one of his little poo pellets rolled off the diaper onto the kitchen floor. I almost watched to see if it circled around us.

Meno, that's what we do most of the time anyway, except now take-out right next door! Burritos with cilantro sauce!

Tink, did you see The Box Room? You're less unpacked than that? And it is a record player. Maybe the subject of a different post. It plays cylinder records of old FDR speeches. The case under it is filled with cylinder records. And shit. We're nothin if not klassy. Klassy with a K like krab salad with a K.

3/29/2007 9:19 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Mamalujo, quit saying that damn P word to me. Limericks, okay. But no P.

3/29/2007 9:21 AM  
Blogger V-Grrrl said...

This will be me in a year if we move to Washington, D.C.

3/29/2007 9:47 AM  
Anonymous kathie said...

The family room/den looks so inviting I could step into the screen and settle in for a stay. Luckily we can't, huh? We moved from a hundred year old home to a forty year old one and I miss the crooked floor and transom's that tilt to the point it's amazing they don't buckle under the shifting. I love those homes. You'll love it!

3/30/2007 6:51 AM  
Anonymous dd said...

This house seems a much better match for you - more like a home than a house...

Put whatever won't fit up for bid on ebay. Think of the BEER MONEY.

Here's to beginning anew in Spring in your new digs.

All the best!

3/31/2007 11:58 AM  
Anonymous dd said...

p.s. does it have a dishwasher ;)

3/31/2007 11:59 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I really didn't make it past Debbie Downer. What's up with that?????

I did notice the living room looked nice though.

3/31/2007 1:43 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Your living room is awesome. Way, way more organized than mine, and I've occupied it for four years.

4/04/2007 12:16 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I still have boxes stuffed in every closet and I moved 7 months ago, you have the jump on me! It looks gorgeous!

6/08/2008 1:38 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home