Sunday, March 04, 2007

Let's get this straight.

First and most importantly, can we please ignore Ann Coulter so that she may go away just like playground bullies do when their victims just walk away? If she calls, hang up. That's what you'd do with a telemarketer, right? She's no better. She's a kid with a microphone, showing off for her friends. Hang up.

Second, we sold our house and bought another. It's great. It's also a shoebox and every piece of furniture we put in it must have a drawer. I'm trying to figure out how to fit the bathtub with drawers. If diapers had pockets, Pooey would carry his own raisins. We may have to put this in the kitchen so it can double as the guest room. And if a pile of money falls from a hijacked airplane, we'll get this for Madeleine so she has a place to play on the floor of her cubicle room.

Third, my friend and her husband have a brewery here in town. This is good. Ask your local retailer (I say that only because I feel like I've heard it on TV. In reality you'll probably just have to come here and sleep in our fold-out bed/desk and drink it on our back deck while Jim bbq's some elk steak and the kids take turns screaming about stuff). It's in cans so you can drink it on a river-raft, because on the river bottles are bastard step-children.

Fourth, we're going to Portland for a week. We're leaving Tuesday. To mark the occasion I just went to Target and bought a pack of multi-colored pens for a dollar. I also bought some tiny hand-sanitizer bottles, a pack of cheese and a 98 lb bag of dog food. And a stroller. Target, I may stray on occasion, but you will always be my One and Only.

Fifth, one more in the series of The Ugliest Shoes Ever Made.


Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Sixth, Have you found any CUTE shoes out there, because I am suffering an acute case of the shoe junky and can't find a single pair that doesn't have too much BLING or too much PLASTIC or too much something.

3/04/2007 5:24 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

We need to see photos of the new house!!

Congrats on the successful buy/sell.

3/04/2007 5:25 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Well, I was kinda liking these:


and these (because I have a thing for black patent leather):

Yes, Mrs. H - pictures will be forthcoming. Maybe I'll append tomorrow.

3/04/2007 6:19 PM  
Blogger patches said...

Kitchen bedroom...sounds nice you can use the refrigerator as a night light.

3/04/2007 7:14 PM  
Blogger green3 said...

Ann's hard for me to type that name. I'm not on her side of the fence, but hopefully no matter what side people are on they will make sure this is the END of her madness. What the hell.

3/04/2007 7:49 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Sweet Lord...those are ugly...and even then...not even one scrillionth the ugly that is Ann Coulter. Target? Me likey.

3/04/2007 9:26 PM  
Anonymous DD said...

Congratulations on the house sale!! That has to be a relief. Besides photos, do you have any dish on the purchasers??

Have fun in PDX. Take a ride on the gondola for me. Looks like I won't get back there in 2007 either :(

I hope in the future you can come visit us in Portland (of course you're welcome to come & see us in Dresden too). I don't think you ever saw our place on Cornelius Pass?? I think by now it has certainly turned itself into an organic, all natural blackberry farm.

3/04/2007 11:06 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Wow, this was a meaty post. Thought Concoction--more taste, less filling!

Congrats on the sale and the buy. And just think how easy a little house will be to clean. You won't even have to unplug the vacuum cleaner if your cord is long enough.

3/05/2007 9:25 AM  
Anonymous LetterB said...

Congratulations! I can't wait for pictures. I second the small house easy to clean sentiment. Not that it makes any difference in our pit of doom but I agree in theory.

3/06/2007 5:06 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

What a nice invitation; I can't wait to try that beer and partake of elk flesh. I don't mind sleeping on the fold out. See you soon!

3/06/2007 1:52 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

Yeah, so how many closets does that house have? We have two standard-sized closets with regular doors, none of that wide-opening business for us. We used to have a third closet, but now it's where the wee stackable laundry machines are. I'll bet you have more square feet than we do.

That fancy kid bed—holy crap! Stairs with drawers beneath them! Genius.

Thank you, thank you for not hurling ugly misogyny at Ann Coulter. Yes, she is a reprehensible pest, but it isn't necessary to call her names that end up tarring all women.

I can't believe Target is cheating on me (and with you!). I really thought we had something special.

3/06/2007 5:40 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I KNEW there were some doings afoot at the Concoction household. Congrats on the sale/buy, although I'm confused as to the downsize... is real estate more expensive in the area you moved into or were you guys just looking to simplify?

3/06/2007 7:46 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Congrats on the new house! I thought you gave up on it. Or we're you trying to be sneaky and not tell us so you wouldn't jinx it? Smart girl. Maybe I'll try that next time and I won't get the selling/buying experience from hell. Have a fun trip. Post pictures of the new crib soon!

3/08/2007 6:11 AM  
Blogger Esereth said...

Mignon, I really, really regret not arranging to meet you while you were portland this week. I know I haven't kept up my end of the emailing, and I'm sorry. Meeting for real would have been bold, perhaps awkward and peculiar, but i still want to do it.

And that that bastard offspring of a bed and a desk is awesome.

3/08/2007 7:00 PM  
Anonymous kathie said...

Hey Mignon, sorry it's been so long! Great to be back and "read" your voice! Great news about the move. How's the writing coming?

3/12/2007 1:52 PM  
Anonymous Ortizzle said...

Great news about houses!!

Ann Coulter: I hung up on her a long time ago. You're right, though: if only the media would also ignore her.

Hope you had a great vacation. :-)

3/12/2007 2:12 PM  

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