Monday, December 11, 2006

Time's Up and Me!Me!

I couldn't just say Time's Up. You lost. You will not receive any presents or good cheer or an ornament from a fellow blogger who may know a lot about your bathroom habits, but has no idea what your voice sounds like. What I mean to say is, I now have 15 participants in the Ornament Exchange, and I'll be sending out addresses this evening (if Arabella and Stephanie and TB will get off their lazy pregnant asses and send me their particulars). So you see, that doesn't make a great post, and because of that, I will do as V-Grrrl asked and present you with...

5 Strange Things about Me!Me!

1 strange thing about my life: I am 34 years old but I feel like I'm a 19-year-old boy with a sponsor and a sweet dEck (emphasis, because on a quick reread, I wouldn't want to confuse anyone). It disappoints me that it is inappropriate for me to wear skater chick hoodies and baggy cargo shorts. I also hate the word inappropriate and think it doesn't apply to me. I consistently have dreams in which I can ollie over a garbage can, but in the same dream I will be told by my former soccer coach that I'm too old to try out for her team, and anyway, why am I not wearing any pants?

1 strange thing about my body: I have a very small head. It is disguised by my bizarre hair and enormous brains.

1 strange thing about my personality: I have a very short attention span, even for things I really enjoy, which means this list of 5 is now over.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a most excellent post and I wee.

12/11/2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger V-Grrrl said...

So, you're saying you're a smart, rebellious pinhead with big hair, baggy pants and serious skater aspirations?

Coolio.

And DUCK! There are some cranky pregnant bitches, I mean women, throwing blunt objects at you. Good thing ya got a small head. ; )

12/12/2006 5:15 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I will concede that my ass is indeed pregnant, anyone can tell that just from looking at it, but it is NOT lazy. Why just yesterday my ass made no less than 10 trips to the freezer for ice cream or perhaps a spoonful of Cool Whip right out of the tub.

12/12/2006 6:22 AM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I can't wait to see who I'm making this ornament for. (I just ended this sentence in a preposition...sorry)

12/12/2006 6:44 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

You were so close to that finish line...

I really wanted to participate this year. I may do my own "Christmas in July" thing for you all. Right now I have four hours a day to myself (that's not taken up with sleeping, working, or driving.) And personally I'd like to fill those up with food and sex. Although lately it's just been food. *sigh*

12/12/2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Orange said...

Small head power!

My mom's got a pinhead that looks skinny. (Super-thin hair doesn't help.) She married a fathead, so my sister and I have heads that seem proportional. And yet, "one size fits all" hats are always too big on me. I didn't marry a fathead, but my kid's got a big noggin. Hats for six-year-olds run small on him.

12/12/2006 9:23 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

A friend once told me I had a "little tiny pea head," so I totally relate. Hey, it's better than having a big head, right? Plus, you can wear children's hats.

I sent my address over to you, hope you got it. If not, yell at my lazy (I'll cop to it) pregnant ass. Today is especially lazy because I'm spending 3 hours hennaing my hair while surfing and reading blogs.

You and my husband could totally have a blast at the skate park, ollying away.

12/12/2006 10:42 AM  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

Small head and pinhead are not synonymous, right?

The attention span thing: very clever. So you couldn't be a pinhead. ;-)

12/12/2006 2:49 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

I think you would be adorable in skater chick hoodies. For some reason, I'm imagining an orange one, in particular.

And I have kind of a big head AND a big lazy, pregnant ass. I need some new maternity pants. These kids had better be really, really precious.

12/12/2006 3:01 PM  
Anonymous JMo said...

Ha ha... I'm wearing a nice oversized Hurley hoodie I got in Ventura. Its mighty fine for keeping my bald head warm

12/13/2006 7:59 AM  

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