Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Little help here?

What's that movie where someone takes a knife and pounds it between the fingers of someone else and then someone else does it really fast?

Why does butter taste better melted?

Who likes pulp in their orange juice and why? (to me it tastes like little empty bug carcasses)

With all the genetic engineering and selective growing and so on, why do Clementines still have so many freakin seeds?

What's that movie where a little girl is getting a psych evaluation and the psych leaves the room and when she comes back in she can't find the little girl because the little girl has painted herself the exact pattern of the tree bark outside the big window and she's standing on the window sill blending in with the tree?

Does anyone find IQ numbers relevant in any way?

If it were cost effective, do you think the we would send our garbage out into space in a giant rocket?

Did anyone find the babble spoken by Jodi Foster in Nell charming? Or do you do the fake-accented Chicka-pee-pee-pee in times of complete drunken idiocy like I do?

Am I crazy, or did this woman actually conceive my child?



Because this ghoul surely didn't:

16 Comments:

Blogger Ortizzle said...

I actually have to leave the house in about 2 minutes because I have a class in graduate school tonight... on the eve on Thanksgiving, yes. So anyway, I am at a loss as to how to comment on all these random, though fascinating questions. For the moment, let me just say that no, I don't find I.Q.s very relevant. But E.Q.s... yes!

Later...

11/22/2006 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Liza said...

1. I don't know, but I've seen it too and now I'm as tortured as you are. Thanks for that.

2. Umm...greater surface area of liquid coats more taste buds?

3. ME. Because it's like when you cut all of the little sections out of a grapefruit and dump sugar on top and eat it, and then tip it up and fold it in half and squeeze the sticky juice into your mouth, and there are little bits of pulp, mmm...makes it seem fresher, less processed, I guess.

4. Because you're buying the wrong kind. I do this at least twice per season, and get the good kind at least once, but I never remember what brand the good kind are and end up back in the same shitty crap-shoot the next time those tantalizingly butch-yet-tiny little net-covered crates show up in the grocery store. Clementesia.

5. DAMN YOU, MIGNON! I KNOW THIS ONE TOO!!! IT'S...IT'S...AAAAAGHHHH! (cool scene though)

6. Not the number but the potential it represents, depdending on the situation. Of course a 45 deserves to feel comfortable and happy and not suffer the same as a 145, but if your child was having surgery of course you'd want the 145 to do it (if you couldn't find yourself a nice 210).

7. Absolutely. We send it to the ocean, and we KNOW there's life there.

8. Annoying. By Jodie or anyone else, drunk, sober, 45, 145. Sorry.

9. Hmm.

10. OH MY GOD THERE'S AN ANIMAL ON YOUR HEAD!

11/22/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Have you ever seen the Family Guy episode where Stewie meets his future self? I think that's what's going on with your daughter. The likeness is uncanny.

I'd like to know what movie that is with the little girl in the psyche ward too. I will never forget that scene. Evidently the rest of the movie was pretty forgetable though. :)

Have a great Turkey Day!!

Oh and... A tay in da win!!

11/22/2006 1:39 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Tink, huh?

Liza, thanks for the help. The animal is partial to Jodi Foster, hence the drunk impressions. My distaste for IQ reporting is the implied valuation of a person based on the number. The false expectation of intelligence/stupidity. A 210 could just as well be in the bottom of his/her med school class as the top. Or the bottom of his/her McDonald's shift as the top.

Orteez, IQs, EQs - I'll stick with DQ. (Sorry about the class. Just not right.)

11/22/2006 2:37 PM  
Blogger meno said...

Does Daniel Boone know that you have his coonskin hat and have died it brown?
IQs are not useful, except as a tool to either make us feel better (i'm smarter than you) or worse (I'm stupid)about ourselves.
I've seen the knife movie, but i haven't even a glimmer of a name coming to the top of my head.

11/22/2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Tink. I get it. chickapee.

Meno et. al. - Is it Alien? With the knives?

11/22/2006 4:20 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I'm with you about the pulpy orange juice. And yet...my oldest son? The one who, when he was little, would pick the tiniest morsels of onion out of any food he was eating? He LOVES the pulpy juice. I just don't get it.

I laugh my ass off at that "Chicka-pee" stuff. I don't find it charming.

Your daughter: gorgeous. You: gorgeous, too. Abby Cornish? Dead to me. Okay...not dead. Just not your daughter's mother.

11/22/2006 4:21 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

I can't answer all of these but here is my whack at it:

Butter- because more of the magic can hit your tastebuds when it spreads out.

OJ Pulp - one day as a romantic gesture, my ex made fresh OJ for me. And put the pulp back in because he liked it that way. I freaked out and yelled at him "WHO DOES THAT??"

We have seedless clementines here. Called Cuties, in a blue box. Only sold by the box. Super yum.

My IQ numbers prove I am superior in every way. Or not.

Garbage in space - rockets wreck the ozone layer pretty badly. So, no.

Chicka-pee-pee-pee? I have absolutely no freaking clue what you are talking about.

I think that concerned blonde woman may actually be your concerned child's mom. Sorry to break it to you.

11/22/2006 6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find melted butter a little icky, actually. I prefer slightly soft but unmelted butter.

But orange pulp is nasty, yeah.

Do you mean the actual numbers, or aptitude testing in general? Because I think depending on what is purportedly being tested, yes, it can be helpful. Some med students who have crap step exam scores are great, but mostly not.

I think that you might have to ask a group of men the movie questions.

And I think your daughter is much more interesting-looking than Abbie Cornish, who is exceedingly bland.

How long did it take to dry that hair after washing it?

11/22/2006 8:51 PM  
Anonymous LetterB said...

I was about to say that finding out what movie you are thinking about is what the internet is for and then I remembered that you are asking us, friends on the internet. Sometimes I forget that's what were all doing here.

The knife scene is from Aliens (plural) and if you'd like you can watch it on YouTube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=vZqTWOgAJ3g

The other one I don't know. Sounds like a cool scene. I never saw Nell either.

I don't know why melted butter taste better but my guess would be that it's similar to heated sugar making carmel. Sometimes heat is just the ticket.

11/22/2006 9:05 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

Don't know the movies, but I think the knife game is called Chicken, isn't it?

Butter realizes its full flavor potential when it's melty and can blanket your mouth.

Ooh, I love pulpy OJ! But it's gotta be fresh-squeezed. From a carton? Blech. Fresh-squeezed, I want it pulpy enough to chew every sip.

Seedless fruit with renegade seeds? Pisses me off.

IQ is semi-relevant. The people with an aptitude for clever wordplay are probably fairly intelligent, y' know?

The garbage would be zoomed into space, yes, and it would be wrong.

Mr. Tangerine and I like to amuse ourselves by mocking the Nell character, but we do it sober.

I like you better with short hair.

11/23/2006 6:54 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

NOOOOO pulp. HATE it.

LOVE melted butter. Mmmmm.

I am looking for the Cutie clementines on my next trip to the grocery store. They sound kick-ass.

I really do think you look like Madeleine. Both gorgeous.

Happy Thanksgiving!

11/23/2006 8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought I was the only person who randomly quoted Nell. No one ever knows what I am talking about. I like to dance in a circle and say "Tay in the wiiiin."

My niece randomly has an accent and sounds someone like Nell when she talks. She's 2.5. Hopefully, she will outgrow it. If not, at least I will be able to understand her.

11/25/2006 1:52 PM  
Anonymous kathie said...

Your daughter is stunning. Though, like it or not she looks like you. And yes, Abbie C., too. Maybe you ought to pack up for Hollywood, CA...there's got to be a part out there for the three of you.

11/25/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger Feral Mom said...

Hair sister! I remember the knife scene being from the movie "Four Rooms" and the movie being goddawful. Your hair, on the other hand (and your cute daughter) are godawesome!

11/26/2006 4:58 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I love pulpy, fresh squeezed OJ. That is all because I have seen both movies and now for the life of me can't remember which ones they are. Also I have no idea who Abby Cornish is either but I do have a really great story about Old Crow Medicine Show to share with you sometime. Remind me.

11/27/2006 5:04 PM  

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