Thinking deep thoughts, high on Heffeweizen

Two thoughts occurred to me this evening. (Note I was actually able to think, and not just about groceries and which boob to nurse with next, because both children are in bed and it’s too friggin hot to sleep and I just had two beers. Well, that may not really explain how I was able to think, but it does set the mood...) First, to write humorous material does not mean one is a “quality” writer and second, contrary to popular chatter, babies must be extremely easy (and thus I must be doing something wrong) because look at all the dumbasses that have them.
With respect to the first thought, this is something I will repeat to myself as I’m reading other peoples’ very funny blogs and op/ed pieces and feeling bad about not cracking myself up. Is it too neurotic to feel bad about not making yourself laugh? Because if this is a sign of a serious neuroses, then I’ll keep all the others things about myself that make me feel bad bottled up inside. That’s where feelings should be anyway if you live in MON-tana anyway dammit!
With respect to the second thought, this is something I will repeat to myself as I’m changing the 1000th rotavirus-diarrhea diaper at 2 am and trying to pull the rotavirus-diarrhea-covered onesie off of a baby while simultaneously trying to keep the binkie in his mouth and not smear crap all over his face and head. I think I’ll get a bracelet that says WWDD. What would a dumbass do? Oh yeah, I know. They’d take the unclean rotavirus baby to a public play area and allow the sickness to spread to unsuspecting conscientious parents. Screw you dumbasses! My rotavirus baby will someday be ordering a burger and fries from your rotavirus baby!