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Friday Concoction
I'm writing this Thursday night - is that cheating? Yes? Fuck you. That's how I feel today. It's been raining for two days and in the past three we've only had one person look at our house. Do you think I'm being impatient? Fuck you again. These are hypothetical questions, can't you tell? There - that's better. Just smile and nod. I really am in some kind of mood. With all our stuff gone it's like being stuck in a hotel room that Must Be Kept Clean At All Times. Like a hotel room owned by your elderly great aunt with an empty wet bar and her crystal knick-knacks placed in inconvenient places around the room. Pooey is not cooperating and Madeleine is 4. She's occupied by Rugrats right now (thankyouthankyouthankyou).
I forgot to mention in Wednesday's post about the middle-of-the-night shenanigans that I also broke down and bawled at one point. Quinn thought it was funny and tried to draw pictures in the pool of snot and tears on my face. Ha-ha, Mommy's spewing spit and laughing? Is that laughing? I don't know, but I'll laugh because it's 4:47 in the morning and isn't that just hilarious in and of itself? It was the kind of good, old-fashioned bawlin where you hiccup and sob and try to think of more things to be sad about just so you won't have to quit and go back to reality wherein your face, instead of being tear soaked and contorted is just red and blotchy and ugly and you're really thirsty. That's what I woke up to. Ugly faced, thirsty girl. But the tears bags were all empty, so we just got dressed and went to swimming lessons. It was 55 degrees. Madeleine's lips may be permanently purple, which is good for her if she turns into a goth chick, but by the time she's in high school goth will be lame, so she'll be permanently scarred and have to join the 4H quilters club because those people are so inbred they don't know who to salute and who to breed with.
Okay, on with the...
Links and Such
Then 'n' Now
Then - Mrs. Harridan (hubba hubba), wowing us at Blogfest with her bawdy nostrilesque art.
Now - In order to up the ante, Mrs. H (in diguise from her fans) improvises on her talent.
I forgot to mention in Wednesday's post about the middle-of-the-night shenanigans that I also broke down and bawled at one point. Quinn thought it was funny and tried to draw pictures in the pool of snot and tears on my face. Ha-ha, Mommy's spewing spit and laughing? Is that laughing? I don't know, but I'll laugh because it's 4:47 in the morning and isn't that just hilarious in and of itself? It was the kind of good, old-fashioned bawlin where you hiccup and sob and try to think of more things to be sad about just so you won't have to quit and go back to reality wherein your face, instead of being tear soaked and contorted is just red and blotchy and ugly and you're really thirsty. That's what I woke up to. Ugly faced, thirsty girl. But the tears bags were all empty, so we just got dressed and went to swimming lessons. It was 55 degrees. Madeleine's lips may be permanently purple, which is good for her if she turns into a goth chick, but by the time she's in high school goth will be lame, so she'll be permanently scarred and have to join the 4H quilters club because those people are so inbred they don't know who to salute and who to breed with.
Okay, on with the...
Links and Such
- Two people I love sent me this, and I'm guessing it's because it reminds them of me. Dance FEEEEEVAAHHHH!
- I'm sure there's sign language slang, but are there sign language accents?
- Youtube is my new favorite hangout. Please watch Ronaldinho and tell me how amazing he is. Also, have you heard of the seal dribble?
- Fathers' Day is coming. I suggest this. Okay, not really, but my brother let me listen to his Billy Joel tape on this thing in the backseat of our van on a trip to Astoria. Until I puked on my beach towel. (Did you notice it features Volume Control!?!?)
- I was looking for a book the other day and this site gave me a list of maybe 15 sites and the cost of that book at each store. Cool.
- Token pretty thing. (found by googling 'token pretty thing') Also, token cute thing (although no self-respectin mom ever buys bibs - just take the damn shirt off).
Then 'n' Now
Then - Mrs. Harridan (hubba hubba), wowing us at Blogfest with her bawdy nostrilesque art.
Now - In order to up the ante, Mrs. H (in diguise from her fans) improvises on her talent.
posted by Mignon at 7:18 PM
Selling a house really does blow. I was gonna offer to buy you breakfast Saturday morning (gonna be in town for 1 whole day) but now I'm afraid...
Oh sweet! Call me and we'll go to Catalyst or something. Cool!
I'm glad you just had a good cry instead of deciding to walk out into the street and curl up in the middle with a blanky and hope that an ambulance would stop and take you to a place with clean sheets and no kids in it....
You can tell I've NEVER visualized anything like that.....
That last picture made me throw up in my mouth a little...
There are many regional differences in American Sign Language so I bet that counts as an accent. I have pretty accentless speech from moving around so much but every once in awhile I'll slip and say something like "pop" for soda and these easterners look at me real funny-like. I am sure there are loads of things like that in ASL.
I'm sorry about the house-selling blues. It sucks from start to finish. I hope you're on the upswing today, doll.
"It was the kind of good, old-fashioned bawlin where you hiccup and sob and try to think of more things to be sad about just so you won't have to quit and go back to reality" I completely understand that!!
Deep breaths girl. It's not even the weekend yet, when most people look at houses. If it makes you feel better, my house has been on the market two days without a single bite. Not even a slow-down-while-driving-by. *Sigh*
Wow, it's a great big suckfest! I'm so sorry. Continuous rain tends to do that.
You could do what I do, and drown your sorrows by buying some kind of good-smelling hand cream...
That Kerlon kid plays in Belo Horizonte, where I was down in Brazil. Unfortunately he plays for my team's arch-rival. If you want to see some more cool dribbling, do a YouTube search for a guy named Falcao.
I'll bet left-handed people have what you could (by a stretch) call an accent in ASL.
Is that picture real? Does he not have an eye and just busted through his sinus cavity to freak someone out?
I wanna try it, but I don't wanna loose my eye in the process. Still, it would be so cool to freak people out like that!
As for attracting house buyers...why don't you put out an add saying you need help remembering a name. When 80 people call trying to help, answer the phone with some little message about your house being for sale. I figure it had all of us going for a few days.
Ooh, the coasters are neat but I think Mrs. Harridan should be the token pretty thing.
Sorry about all the hassles of showing the house. It sucks, doesn't it? Especially with the kids? I'll keep my fingers crossed that it will sell quickly and you'll be out of house cleaning purgatory soon.
Thanks for the words, guys. Yes, rain sucks, house-selling sucks, suckie-suck suck suck sucks.
Mitch, I love that lefty idea. I'll be thinking about that for a while. Sorry about the whole Alvie thing. Try not to hate. ;)
Nancy, you're right about the pretty. Who else could strike a glamour pose while shoving change up her nostrile. (And you should note, the whole 'token pretty thing' category is pretty much for you anyway, as you are by far the most appreciative!)
Cars, I'd be surprised if Kerlon was down there much longer - isn't he being courted by Man U?
Tink, let's go get drunk.
Man U is the Paris Hilton of the soccer world. They get around to everyone at some point.....
if i were rich, i would buy your house just to give you reprieve from this silly annoying stress. i've been there. thankfully we were selling in a sellers market and sold the first weekend we were on the market. i would have otherwise gone mad.
and piss on the rain. oh. ha ha. that's funny. pissing on rain. because would rain care? if it got wet? that's what makes it funny. rain is already wet. see?
I left a comment yesterday. Did you delete me????
The pic of the guy is nasty. Mrs. H looks mighty cute. Even when she is trying to make a silly face she looks really pretty.
I think the rain made you down. I hate it when it rains and is gray for days.
I have nothing helpful or witty to write. But I hate moving. It sucks a thousand asses. I, myself, have cried on no less than three occasions in the past 4 days.
"Sucks a thousand asses...."
Tee hee! I now have a new favorite expression, Dawn. Love it.
Ouch, Mrs. Harridan is hot. See, you had too much fun in Savannah, and now you must PAY by moving...seriously, have you tried burying a statue of St. Joseph upside down in your front yard? We sold our condo in about four days...and we are not even believers! Sucks a thousand asses, hee hee, Dawn is funny. And did I mention Mrs. Harridan...hot?
We've had two very interested looky-lous this weekend and are optimistic. Slightly less stress all around. And it's sunny.
Pissing on rain is like pissing in the shower, which I do, but did not disclose on our realtor stuff. Is that wrong?
Debbie, I would NEVER delete you, except if you said, well, hmm, can't come up with anything... nope - would never delete you.
Dawn, I think your 'sucks a thousand asses' prompted my dream last night wherein my husband was experimenting with his sexuality. I think I'm scarred.
Mrs. Harridan - lovely as always, even with the decor...but that other guy...gah!
Oh my god, those pictures made me laugh. I needed that!