Monday, September 03, 2007


Last night I was dreaming I was lying in bed scratching my butt and found it was covered in butt zits. No matter where I searched, my fingertips found painful little bumps. I woke suddenly to the sound of Quinn hollering in his room. It was 3 am and he was screaming, "NO WASHEE ABBLES MOMMY NO NO NO!!" I went downstairs to soothe him, assured him I would not wash any apples, and went back to bed.

Just now, standing here in front of my computer, I was reading e-mails and daydreaming and found myself scratching my butt. As you can guess, there were bumps. Mosquito bites, actually. I was covered in them. After a good healthy scratch, I went to the kitchen sink to wash my hands. There was a bowl in the sink, so I picked it up to move it, and Quinn walked in the kitchen calling my name. I turned around, water running in the kitchen sink, and he stopped short and looked at me strangely. Yes, it was a bowl full of apple slices he had been eating last night. They were floating in soapy water.

I exchanged a queer look with my two-year-old son. After a full five seconds, he gave me a little tip of the head, turned and walked back into the other room and stood in the center of the carpet and crapped his pants.


Anonymous Ortizzle said...

One wonders what he will dream tonight... "No scratchee bottom before washee abbles"?!

Nice pic, by the way. No pun intended. Caption: "How do you like them abbles?"

9/03/2007 10:39 AM  
Blogger Esereth said...

I...I really just don't know. I just don't.

I just don't.

9/03/2007 10:02 PM  
Blogger patches said...

Full circle. Kinda scary.

9/04/2007 7:55 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Funniest post of the year, hands down.

9/04/2007 10:34 AM  
Blogger meno said...

Perhaps you have a future on some psychic telephone line?

Great picture! If looks could kill.

9/04/2007 12:26 PM  
Blogger Nance said...

oh no you didn't.

9/04/2007 1:23 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

*Hums the "Twilight Zone" music*

9/05/2007 2:11 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

You should get him to give you some lottery numbers.

He's getting so BIG. He looks like a boy now and not a baby anymore.

9/05/2007 6:22 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Do you still call him Pooey?

9/06/2007 2:52 PM  
Blogger Henny Penny said...

Too funny.

9/09/2007 1:08 PM  
Blogger Esereth said...

Now where the hell are you? Don't make me get further onto my lazy ass and email you.

9/16/2007 8:04 AM  

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