Monday, September 03, 2007

Bonding

Last night I was dreaming I was lying in bed scratching my butt and found it was covered in butt zits. No matter where I searched, my fingertips found painful little bumps. I woke suddenly to the sound of Quinn hollering in his room. It was 3 am and he was screaming, "NO WASHEE ABBLES MOMMY NO NO NO!!" I went downstairs to soothe him, assured him I would not wash any apples, and went back to bed.

Just now, standing here in front of my computer, I was reading e-mails and daydreaming and found myself scratching my butt. As you can guess, there were bumps. Mosquito bites, actually. I was covered in them. After a good healthy scratch, I went to the kitchen sink to wash my hands. There was a bowl in the sink, so I picked it up to move it, and Quinn walked in the kitchen calling my name. I turned around, water running in the kitchen sink, and he stopped short and looked at me strangely. Yes, it was a bowl full of apple slices he had been eating last night. They were floating in soapy water.

I exchanged a queer look with my two-year-old son. After a full five seconds, he gave me a little tip of the head, turned and walked back into the other room and stood in the center of the carpet and crapped his pants.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

One wonders what he will dream tonight... "No scratchee bottom before washee abbles"?!

Nice pic, by the way. No pun intended. Caption: "How do you like them abbles?"

9/03/2007 10:39 AM  
Blogger Imez said...

I...I really just don't know. I just don't.

I just don't.

9/03/2007 10:02 PM  
Blogger jaded said...

Full circle. Kinda scary.

9/04/2007 7:55 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Funniest post of the year, hands down.

9/04/2007 10:34 AM  
Blogger meno said...

Perhaps you have a future on some psychic telephone line?

Great picture! If looks could kill.

9/04/2007 12:26 PM  
Blogger Nance said...

oh no you didn't.

9/04/2007 1:23 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

*Hums the "Twilight Zone" music*

9/05/2007 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should get him to give you some lottery numbers.

He's getting so BIG. He looks like a boy now and not a baby anymore.

9/05/2007 6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you still call him Pooey?

9/06/2007 2:52 PM  
Blogger Henny Penny said...

Too funny.

9/09/2007 1:08 PM  
Blogger Imez said...

Now where the hell are you? Don't make me get further onto my lazy ass and email you.

9/16/2007 8:04 AM  

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