Monday, January 23, 2006

Procrastinators Unite: We Shall Overcome

I'm so dumb today. I haven't actually done anything classically stupid, yet, but I'm just in the holding pattern right now. I painted a wall this weekend, and I think the paint fumes have caused my synapses to sit down together and sing KumBaYa instead of firing. Here's the painting project, before and after (no it's not faux paint - it just needs another coat):

I bought myself a Billy Banks video this weekend, and it's sitting in the other room loaded into the DVD player, on pause. Here look:

Looks like a Gold's Gym, doesn't it? No? What tipped you off, the book shelves? The 3" video screen? The idea of punching and kicking the air at the instruction of a 2 inch man makes me feel a little odd. Like the-voices-made-me-do-it kind of odd. We have a DVD player connected to a real live television, but it's in our bedroom closet, and the baby naps in there. The bedroom. HOWEVER, once the downstairs room is done (this phrase should be followed by a ta-da! noise in your head), the tv, dvd player, billy banks, and my fat ass will all be in it. Here is the current state of the downstairs room:

Now, if you've read this far, and not keeled over with your eyes rolled back into your head from horrifically debilitating boredom, this is the part where I will try to do something good with my super-human boredom-making powers. I want you to tell me what you've been putting off doing and I want you to make a vow to do it by the end of this day. I don't mean finish that PhD dissertation that's been nagging at you or Becoming a Better Person (gag!). I mean like, calling your aunt, whom you haven't spoken to in months, or sending in the form to get your dog his license tags. I'm doing this because I hope by reading what slackers you all are, it will make me feel better about sitting here eating shortbread with Billy Banks on pause. No, ha ha. My deal is, I'm going to finish this post, read it over a couple times and pick at my writing and stress a little about some punctuation errors (like that one), then I'm going to march into my living room, take off my slippers and robe and punch and kick with that tiny man for a full half hour! By God I Will!

So come on, bring it! What are you going to do?

Update: In light of Teeb's comment, I have to say procrastinating at work doesn't count, because that's just a passive-aggressive way of Sticking It To The Man, which I'm all for. So go ahead, diddle away your time at work with my blessings!


Anonymous TB said...

Whines - Do I haaaaavvve to?

Okay. I'll finish this fucking press release, turn in some project requests to our graphic designer and organize my desk.

I really really need to do these things but god help me, I don't have the strength. So here I sit, blogging instead.

Thanks for the kick in the shins Mignon. After you finish your workout, you may be able to get your foot all the way up to my ass.

1/23/2006 9:45 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

No kicks for you Teebs! You've caused me to add a caveat to my post... procrastinating at work is fun! Do more of it! Especially on Mondays! And especially doing anything involved with the internet!

1/23/2006 9:58 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I've been putting off cleaning my fridge for like, a year now. But even for you, sweet, sweet Mignon, I'm not gonna do it by the end of this day. Or even this week.

1/23/2006 10:03 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

*Sticks tongue out at Mignon* I'm going against your amendment. I haven't done a lick of work all day AT work. NONE. See Tink slack. Slack Tink slack.

Non work related? I need to clean my bathroom. The funk is literally piling up in the tiny tile corners. Bleh. I close my eyes when I pee just so I don't have to see it.

1/23/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Oh you people! Baby steps!

MamaT: Just throw out 1 almost-empty condiment.

Tink: Wipe the schmeg off the back of the toilet. That little area behind the seat area that always collects pubes.

That's all I'm asking!!

1/23/2006 10:36 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

OK, Mignon. There are sooo many things I've procrastinated on that I don't know where to begin.... hmm, I think I will go home this evening and put away the rest of my Christmas presents. (It's not a lot, just a couple of books and stuff that are sitting on my dining room table.)

I should exercise, too. ;-)

1/23/2006 11:01 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Oh, man, there is not time enough for me to list all the things I have been slacking on. Painting the risers on my stairs, filling in the staple holes on the molding of the stairs where there used to be carpet, cleaning the mold off my bathroom ceiling (why is there mold there?) ... the list goes on. Definitely feeling Mama Tulip on the fridge thing (I made slight progress this weekend); I still have to mop up some of the juicier things that have spilled or leaked in there recently - the curse of plexiglass shelving!

I am very interested in your renovation. We are going to undertake finishing our basement soon, and I am thoroughly daunted. I don't know how you can deal without a sitting room, but I am impressed! Looks like it will be totally worth it. :)

1/23/2006 11:45 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

1) Going back to yoga
2) Running regularly
3) Cleaning out our walk-in closet which, due to the amoung of CRAP inside it, no longer can be classified as walk-in.
4)Clean out my office
5)Log check information into Quicken

Just to name a few

1/23/2006 12:12 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

You guys!! You're all making me feel like hell by reminding me of the crappy things I have to do but won't until we have overnight company (mold on the bathroom ceiling? got it too - we don't turn on the vent fan during showers because it blows chilly air into the shower stall).

I was only talking about 3-minute annoying things you put off. Like cleaning out underneath the toaster (there's about a loaf of bread worth of crumbs under there), ordering new checks (with the duplicate copy things this time), or tweezing that weird hair below your belly button. Sheesh!

1/23/2006 1:00 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I just went through that big stack of junk mail that's been rising steadily on the desk since November. It turned out to be about equal parts bills/offers for money/offers to spend money.

By the way, I'm hoping the baby sleeps in the bedroom itself, and not the bedroom closet?

1/23/2006 1:24 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Hey, if all you wanted was for me to tweeze that weird hair underneath my bellybutton, consider it done, my friend.

1/23/2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

My day of Accomplishing My Goal was a big, fat bust.

Today, I intended to procure a few bottles of my favorite hair conditioner (Suave Biobasics). I went to THREE separate drugstores, one of which has always had it in the past; no Suave Biobasics. The other two didn't even carry it. Apparently, it's not necessary to have a wide selection of conditioners at the drugstore because, you know, NEW YORK WOMEN AREN'T INTO THEIR HAIR.

I would use a different conditioner; really, I would. I'd even spring for one that costs more than $2.19 a bottle, except this is the ONLY CONDITIONER that leaves my hair remotely manageable. I'm already on Day 3. What am I going to do????

I really like the wall, by the way. And my "exercise studio" is only slightly more high-tech (VHS tapes in the bedroom, where there is a TV/VCR combo with a broken VCR attached to a separate VCR).

1/23/2006 4:38 PM  
Blogger The Queen Mama said...

Make an appointment with our accountant to get our taxes done. *gag*

Actually, I'll have to do that tomorrow...

1/23/2006 8:18 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I am totally with the queen mama...gotta face the taxman.

1/23/2006 10:56 PM  
Anonymous 1 of 2 Dads in Dresden said...

I shall call back the excavation contractor and inform him clearly that this is a rental property in Oregon, that we are living in Germany, and that we can't afford $20,000 to build the great wall of China to hold up the sliding soil along the driveway. We would just like someone to haul it away each winter after the rains and put it somewhere else.

Note: maybe the only thing worse than having an overseas landlord is being an overseas landlord!

Can I still put off calling the electrician about that outlet that's not working?

1/23/2006 11:05 PM  
Blogger Jaye Wells said...

I can't believe I just looked at your blog. First of all, I too am renovating a room, except it's my master bath.

Clearly I am not meant for this type of work. The other day I fell from a step stool which was on top of the counter. Not only did I decimate our vanity lights and cause glass to shatter all over the freakin' place, but I also spilled a huge bucket full of water and fabric softener (for removing wallpaper) all over the carpet, causing it to leak into my dining room downstairs. Yes, I basically made it so we have no choice but to complete this project. Luckily I didn't break my body. Exept a cast would have gotten me out of having to strip anymore wallpaper.

As for things to do:
1. Avoid step ladders.
2. Go to the grocery store and get through the experience without the 3-year-old throwing a tantrum.
3. Shower.

Lofty goals, I know.

P.S. Your hubby and mine could almost be twins, judging from the pic in your post.


1/24/2006 8:09 AM  
Blogger Jaye Wells said...

*I meant looked at your blog for the first time.

1/24/2006 8:10 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Jaye (from Housewife Cafe, right?) - thanks for stopping by! Holy shit, though - a stepstool on top of a counter? What are we freakin' twins? I think of myself as a fairly bright person, but I would definitely pull something like that. I'm thankful I've kept myself out of the Darwin Awards for this long!

1/24/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger Jaye Wells said...

'Tis me from Kathie's blog. Yeah the stepstool thing wasn't my brightest idea. What really pissed me off was that I only had 2 feet of wallpaper left when it happened, but hubby refused to let me get back up there and finish. He muttered something about learning lessons, but I wasn't paying attention.


1/24/2006 8:59 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Mark, you're not a true procrastinator, so it makes me all warm inside when I see that you've actually put off doing something. Keep it up!

1/25/2006 7:57 AM  

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