I don't think the snappy insults would come in handy right now.

I totally forgot to sign up my women's league team for summer soccer. Sorry, all 18 of you expecting to get some fun summer exercise. I was really busy eating and playing my hand-held electronic Yahtzee game.

In addition, I haven't sent two checks and two letters I said I would send weeks ago. And I have stamps (that's my normal excuse).

I also haven't written much or put away my clean laundry.

I suck at the above.

I don't suck at making snappy little insults or buying gifts. I'm also good at mimicking voices on the radio and making 8-year-olds be quiet.

I'm mediocre at personal hygiene and enforcing bedtime.

Hopefully, I'm really good at sucking up to the Missoula Parks and Rec soccer guy.